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earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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Not sure if this is the correct category, as it has to do with

Resolved Question:

Not sure if this is the correct category, as it has to do with how to handle elder/aging parents (?). I am an only child of two parents aged in their 70's who live in their single-family house. Both of their health is deteriorating, and one of them now has significant physical mobility impairments (can barely walk and cannot drive). They've lived in the same, single house for almost 30 years (they lived in an apartment before then). The house's configuration and it's location is really, really hazardous for their advanced age and conditions - in particular, it's on an isolated cul-de-sac, it has a million treacherous steps both inside and outside of the house, a sloped (angled) driveway, etc.. Ideally they should be in a more physical handicapped-friendly building and closer location to us, but I know that they're extremely emotionally attached to that house and will not want to leave it voluntarily. I'm concerned that one day, something dramatic will happen (e.g. one of them will have a serious fall, injury, or worse) and that may force some sort of a sudden and very "non-optimal" change in their living arrangements, as opposed to their proactively considering finding a place that may be a better fit for their current condition(s) and stage of life. Any suggestions/advice is appreciated. Thanks.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 4 years ago.

earthsister :

Hello, I would like to help with your concern today. Have you already talked to your parents regarding your concern about their living conditions?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hello. Somewhat, with one of them, however not in a joint or 2-way, or direct discussion. Basically my suspicion is that one of them would be potentially open to potentially moving, but the other one would not. When the topic has been raised before indirectly, basically the answer seems to be that they'd prefer to stay put in that house and/or potentially improve that house (e.g. minor repairs) rather than any radical changes.
Expert:  earthsister replied 4 years ago.
Well, seeing that one of them may potentially be in support of moving to a safer place that is equipped for their needs, this is where I suggest you start. Find out which parent is most supportive of the idea, and work to encourage them that this would in fact be the best choice for their well-being, and also to encourage the other to consider this. Your concern is an issue that I am sure that many parents of aging adults face; while your parents feel that they are comfortable, and wish to stay in their home, you see otherwise, and only want the best for them. Don't pester your parents about it, but do continue to voice your concerns about their living conditions, and even work yourself to find possible senior living facilities in an area that they may like which you learn about and present the benefits of to them. Perhaps renting out their home to a family member or friend will help them make some extra income, and still keep their home; and maybe even while they are temporarily staying at the senior living facility, work can be done on their home to make it more livable for them. If they are really stubborn about leaving, maybe even recommending that they hire a professional who assists older individuals with their day to day needs (shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc) in their own home may be a good idea. These are all just ideas that you can present to them as alternatives. Please let me know if you have any other concerns or questions. My goal is to provide an answer that will be useful to you. Thanks.
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