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Ask earthsister Your Own Question
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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my daughter who is 17 left home 3 months ago, I want to redecorate

Customer Question

my daughter who is 17 left home 3 months ago, I want to redecorate her room but don't want her to feel pushed out and forgotten, I have talked to her and she says she doesn't care, she is very volitile and doesn't always say what she really feels, also I am a single parent and her dad has been very negative towards me in front of the kids because he is angry with me for leaving him 9 years ago, she has a similiar temper to him and i don't want to alienate her but equally i don't want to be bullied, which has become a habit, any help appreciated, thanks
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 4 years ago.

earthsister :

Hello, I would like to assist you today.

earthsister :

If I understand correctly, your daughter is no longer living with you, and you want to redecorate her room, however your feeling is that she will take it personal?

JACUSTOMER-yok4i3y3- :

yes that's right

earthsister :

Pardon my absence. Is your daughter planning on returning to your home?

earthsister :


earthsister :

Did you think about asking her advice about how to decorate the room. Maybe if you give her some input on it; Pick out several designs that you like yourself, and ask for her advice on which one she likes best. This should help her to still feel involved in the home, and less as though you are trying to push her away.

earthsister :

I would like to get more input from you to help better answer your question. I look forward to your response, as I would be more than happy to advise you on the concerns that you have for your daughter. When you're ready, please message for "earthsister. Thanks!

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

thanks for your response and good avdvise, sorry i was busy til now so couldn't reply. I will invlove her which is what she wanted anyway but she keeps putting it off and there is a lot of extreme and really crude things drawn all over the inside and outside of the room, including on the ceiling and floor, so i can't use it for other people yet, she is a troubled girl but i can't go into details on this open forum


Expert:  earthsister replied 4 years ago.
I do understand. Let your daughter know that you have a time line to which you want to get the room redecorated, maybe use one of the holidays as your bench mark (Thanksgiving). Assure your daughter that you need her help ( as it sounds like you truly do with all that you mention is on the walls and around the room). Set a date to redecorate with her, and during that day, take a break and go out to lunch together, and work to reestablish your bond with her. Older children can be extremely difficult to deal with, because of course they are thirsty for their first true taste of freedom. Remain patient with your daughter and always be there when she needs you. If you do feel that I have provided you with useful insight, I would appreciate being rated highly, however if you do need more assistance, please message for me, as I want to be sure that I provide an answer that meets your satisfaction. Thanks, and I wish you all the best!