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Good morning, I would like to assist you today.
How old is your son?
I am assuming that your son is in his teenage years; a definite time for rebellion and experimentation. It is important that you lay down the rules for your son, and provide punishments that you follow through consistently on so that your son realizes that you are serious. Explain to your son (which I am sure he has already heard, but repeat for effect) that marijuana is an addictive drug that hampers one's ability to make good decisions and it can b damaging to his health in the long run. Assure him that you realize the peer pressure he may face with friends who are into it, but that you know he doesn't want to end up in jail or just end up lazy and unproductive by smoking marijuana.
Also, make sure that he is not selling it, this is even more reason to mention the jail thing. If this is the case, let your son know that there are better, and legal ways for a young man his age to make money: cutting grass, raking leaves, shoveling snow, there are even various online survey sites where at the age of 13 a child can have an account online, and earn money answering surveys and filling out offers.
I agree with both of you; it is a breech of trust, but what comes around goes around, he has already breached your trust in having marijuana in his possession; so I do understand why you would want to read his texts, and explain that to him.
Honestly, I recommend not even worrying about retrieving the password, take the phone completely away, and let him know that he can retrieve it when he proves to you that you can trust him (by not handling marijuana), and when he is ready to share the password; if he isn't, pitch it: or better yet, turn it in for another phone or product that you or someone else can use.
These are the kinds of consequences that he needs to see put in action so that he can begin to see how what he is doing negatively affects him
I am neither against getting a drug test from your local pharmacy; giving him time to clean himself out, and test him every month or so. If the problem persists, finding a rehab that will work with teenagers may be your best option.
And yes, that is the issue, the peer pressure. I am sure that your so also has talents. Also remind him that smoking marijuana can ruin his chances at securing a high earning job in the near future. Assure him that you want the best for him, and this is why you are being strict on him in regards XXXXX XXXXX His friends are not your concern, he is. If there are any activities that he can get involved in (sports, clubs, music, or other extra curricular activities that involve adult supervision), this may be a good thing too.
and pardon the typo, I meant , your son
Thank you. Appreciate your feedback.