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Ask John-Michaels Your Own Question
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 627
Experience:  25+ years working with familes and 6 children of my own.
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my child gets in heaps of fights and gets suspended ALOT 4

Customer Question

my child gets in heaps of fights and gets suspended ALOT 4 excesive violence and not only has she been cutting herself but she posted a pic of the cuts and herslef on facebook, what do i do now? she has een headspace and i am scared
i got so mad 2nite wen i saw the pic that i punched her in the leg. i know i hav dun the wrong thing but i dont know how 2 fix this n i am at my whits me!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.
Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. Please note, this is not therapy, but information. I do hope I can help you though.

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this with you daughter. It sounds as if you. Are very deeply for her. Can you give some more details. It sounds as if she is very angry. Do you have any ideas as to the underlying train for that anger? How has Headspace affected her? Can you tell me more about that? I want to be helpful, but any details you could give might be beneficial in doing so. Thank you!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
honestly, she is my niece, and her mum smokes alot of pot and her dad works out of state andi hav dun my best with her but she doesnt tell headspace everything n she is 13yo and i feel like this feels all on my shoulders, i dont want 2 get her taken away frm her mum coz she really duz love them n she is the youngest of 7 children but i hav 2 fix this.......pls help me! these kids hav lived with me on n off 4 so many years that i feel more resposible 4 my babies than i should.......maybe, confused!
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.

Wow, it sounds like you have been very much there for these kids. For one, you are right in taking her to counseling. Maybe this reveals my ignorance, but I am not sure what headspace is? On thing I often tell parents (and it sounds to me you are basically the parent here) is if what you are trying is not working then try the opposite. I know that sounds cliche, but it seriously works. If you have been to trying hard and strict with her, maybe let up a little.


One other thing I would recommend is what i often suggest, find a way To give her a weekly set time of uninterrupted, unconditional, positive regard. I am not sure how you make this happen, but it is very important. This is a time in which your focus is totally on her and completely positive. You try not To talk about her behavior. You Simply enjoy time with a child you love. I know this sounds kind of hocus pocus but it works. . Consistency In her life could be helpful as well. She needs to know what e h day and each hour holds. Finally if you could get her mom To attend some flu selling with her it could do wonders. No of fence, but I put the blame for this squarely on the shoulders of mom. If she could own up to her. Is takes and co e clean, she might literally save her child from a life of hell.


I hope that was Helpful. Let mE know if you have questions.

Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.
I seriously apologize for the typos! I hope you understood what I was trying to say. I suggested her mom attend counseling with her.
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.
Are you still there? What are your thoughts on what I had to say. I know the thoughts on mom were harsh, but it sounds as if mom has not been there for this child. If she would at least just own up to that fact and maybe apologize, she could take her child a long way toward healing. Let me know your thoughts...
Expert:  John-Michaels replied 5 years ago.


I noticed you still have not accepted my answer. i know my response may not have been what you wanted to hear, but it was an honest answer based on the information provided. If you have any further questions or information please feel free to post further dialog. I really do want to help you. Otherwise, would you do me a favor and leave positive feedback. This is the only way I am compensated for my time and service to you.
Thank you!