Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers
Good evening, I would like to help you with your situation.
I understand that you must be frustrated with your son, yet concerned about him at the same time.
Is there any kind of working communicable relationship between you and his father?
The reason I ask because it seems that although his father may not discipline him, part of his form of discipline was kicking him out of his home when he was kicked out of school. His father needs to understand that him lack of discipline at home is a reflection of how he behaves in school; so discipline is a must, and if you can communicate that to him, I recommend to do so.
excuse me, his lack of discipline
Meanwhile, your son is at the age of seeking independence, growing from a boy to a man; and although he completely disrespected you in cursing at you, he probably felt his independence threatened by your partner speaking up on your behalf.
Your son is old enough to begin making decisions for himself, such as who he wants to live with, and attempting to take that freedom of choice from him by forcing him to return to you in some way can only make your relationship with him more difficult. Be prepared for him to return to you again, because it is very possible that his father will get fed up with him again or vice versa. Keep the lines of communication open with your son. When you can speak to him again, let him know that he is always welcomed home, and you love him very much, but if he is to stay with you, respecting you is a must.
Again, if there is any kind of communication that exists between your son's father and yourself, express to him your concern about his behavior, and how you think it is necessary to develop some universal form of discipline that your son can expect regardless to who he lives with, that will help eliminate bad behavior at home and in school.
Unfortunately not, he has taken me through the courts for the past 3 years. I do encourage my son to be in touch with his father, yet everytime I take him tovisit, he goes backwards again. Yes I agree with all that you say however there is only one thing his father wants is to get me. He doesn't care how he does it. He is an extremely nasty person who is hell bent on distroying me at any cost and knows how much I love my son;s . He doesnt see that he is hurting them with his behaviour.
When my son moved here with me he said "thanks Mum, I probably would be dead in a gutter somewhere' if he had stayed where he was, I'm not prepared to take that risk again.
I am sorry that you feel that I have been of no assistance. I would like to continue to try and help you, as it seems that you have agreed with all that I said. Perhaps with a little more insight on the situation (in the form of answers to my previous two inquiries), I can help you better than you feel that I have already. I do ask that you give me the opportunity to help, as a negative rating of "poor service" for myself, and no help toward your situation is not the outcome that I would like for either of us.