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John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 615
Experience:  25+ years working with familes and 6 children of my own.
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If a 10 year old boy likes to play too much and does not study

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If a 10 year old boy likes to play too much and does not study as he needs to, how can one encourage him with his school work?

JohnMichaels,MS,LPC :

HI! I really look forward to answering your question. I love working with families and enjoy helping kids succeed. I do need some more info though. 1) What have you tried in the past? 2) Has this recently developed as an issue or has he always avoided schoolwork? 3) Are there possibly any stressers in his life that might be distracting him from his school work?


All I know is that his mother has told me that she and her husband have tried hard to encourage him with his school work. She says he has always liked to play since he was 4 years old. If there are any stressers in his life, I wouldn't know about them.

It is common for little boys to prefer playing of working. This may sound cliché, but if what they are trying isn't working, they might try something different. Since I am not certain of the details, I am not sure what that would be. I will say consistency is very important. Make it very clear that until he gets his studies done playtime is limited and stick to your guns. On the other hand try to relieve the stress of schoolwork as much as possible. There are games and such you can find on line that make learning fun. Also, use the reward system more than punishment. Even dealing with the play time, present it as earning play time not losing it. There is no way I can make this assumption, but depending on the magnitude of this issue, they ,might consider testing him for add. I am not suggesting medication or anything but there are other things you can try if he assesses positive. It is at least worth a try. If it makes them feel any better, i to was trouble academically as a child. This was long before add was such a recognizable issue. the best advice my parents ever received was from my elementary principal, who told them to just keep doing their best but in the end it was up to me. I would come around when i was ready. They followed his advice, continued to encourage me, but did not make it the most important issue. I did struggle through school, but ended up with a MS, and am now an LPC and have been very successful in life. I would say keep encouraging him, be consistent with their expectations, but enjoy him while they have him. Do maybe consider having him tested. I hope I have been of help. Feel free to ask further questions. i am here to help you!

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
What do you mean by testing him for add?

If they feel like he is incapable of focusing one his studies, it might be a good idea to schedule an assessment to determine if he has ADHD (auto correct changed that to add). ADHD is basically a chemical make-up in the brain that makes it difficult to focus. They could talk to their pediatrician about this. He may either do an assessment or at least give them a referral. Their school may have someone on staff that does assessments or may give a referral. I am in no way suggesting that the child has ADHD. It might be good to at least rule it out.

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