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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 12 year old son has become very lazy and his behavior at

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My 12 year old son has become very lazy and his behavior at school has gotten worse this school year. He has always been the silly kid or class clown but has made straight A's. This year in the 6th grade he is to lazy to do his homework or turn it in even if he has done it. He has gone to C's and D's and does not seem to care. All his games and electronics were taken away from him early in the school year and it has had no results. I have now taken away all his sports activities that he loves and still seems not to care. He acts like a 5 year old a lot and constantly have to tell him over and over to do something or stop doing something. Now for a brief history. I am the father and I have had custody for the last 3 years. His mom is 34 and in her 6th marriage. We believe she is a borderline, I am no doctor but she fits the profile to a T. When he does see his mother he comes home bragging about her drinking and partying. I am worried about how this is going to impact him as he gets older. We try to do a lot of things together that he seems to enjoy. At dads house there is discipline and rules so probably not as cool as when he is at his moms when she does see him. He has started lying a lot and hiding things from us that has happened at school. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I applaud you for having the courage to take the time to express concerns for the overall well being of your son. There are several issues going on here. Being since it is nearing the end of the school year, he is probably already in summer mode and does not care about school anymore. However since you mentioned that he is a very capable student of performing well academically, there are other issues that need to be addressed. He wants to feel like he has the power. Therefore, he can feel a sense of power by not doing his work. I am not sure if he is about to attend middle school or not. However let me forewarn you that many boys experience academic difficulties from about 12 to 15 years old and then they start improving. School just is not important. If you need to, for the next school year, speak to the school psychologist. There may be issues at school with other students or even teachers that may be affecting his academic performance. You have even mentioned that he is not being honest about what is happening at school.

Additionally, the situations that he experiences when he visits his mother are not appropriate. He should not be around partying and drinking. Could he possibly be involved in that type of behavior? Also, having your son know that his mom has had 6 husbands could be very emotionally difficult for him to handle.

It sounds like you are doing your part but your son is rebelling. I would suggest that you seek professional counseling from a neutral third party that specializes in the issues that your son is dealing with. Contact your son's pediatrician for a referral.

Stay encouraged. Remember, this is all for the best interest of your dear son.

If you need more assistance, let me know your thoughts.

Have a great evening.
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Expert:  earthsister replied 5 years ago.
Good evening. If I may ask, when you say "we" have had many heart to hearts with him; who is included in the "we?"