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Adviser Mills C.C.D., Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 153
Experience:  15 years Plus, Preschool Owner, Teen Mentor
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my daughter come back before prone and get $100. She did come

Customer Question

my daughter come back before prone and get $100. She did come back home these two days but really late. prone night at2am and Sunday past 11:00pm. She really upset to don't give her car these couple days and we feel not comfortable to let her drive now. we told her she can own car back by show us good behavior. we also want to take her go to h=the doctor to check, bur she rejected. What we can peaceful leave together for last three months? She really give us lot of headache.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You very much for consulting Just Answer. I feel your frustration and pain over your daughter's actions. There are several issues going on in your life and they must be addressed one at a time. First of all with regards XXXXX XXXXX prom, did you tell your daughter when you expected her back home? You must give her boundaries so that she will know what to expect. Otherwise, she will continue to do whatever she wants to do. Taking the car away eliminates some of her freedom and is an adequate consequence for her behavior. Additionally, there seems to be an issue of drug usage or past drug usage. If you are trying to force your daughter to take a drug test and she refuses, then maybe an alternative would be to have her discuss the issues with a counselor first. She says she is not using drugs. Maybe a counselor would be a neutral third party to talk to about her feelings about drugs. The other issue is the boyfriend. It seems like he is a mystery boyfriend that you so not know much about. He may be a bad influence on your daughter since you cannot seem to find out anything about him. If you want to try to get to know him better, invite him over to the house for dinner. Talk about his likes, dislikes, future aspirations, where he lives, what school he attends, etc. Try to make him feel welcome to see what he is all about.

I am not sure exactly what age your daughter is but it sounds like she is at the age of trying to push your buttons. Always assert authoritative parental control. She will soon be an adult but that does not mean that she needs to act like one now and assert so much freedom.

Please let me know if you need more assistance.

Have a great day.
Expert:  earthsister replied 5 years ago.
Good afternoon,
are you the same customer who had a question several days ago regarding your 18 year old daughter who ran away with her boyfriend, and came back wanting $150 for a senior dance?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
My daughter is 18 yrs old. After she come back home, she always try to let us accept her boy friend and let him come to my house. But my husband reject and said he can't come to my house since he is a sick drug user and he use drug with my daughter at my house before and caught by my husband.I think no any parents will let him in their house with his bad reputation.
We really worry my daughter will get more drug since past two yrs history fact.
She need rebuild trust, we will not learn from our life lesson and get professional advise.
What we can do as responsible parents in next three month? Please give us some suggestions. Thanks so much.
Expert:  earthsister replied 5 years ago.
Hello. I am sorry that you are experiencing these issues with your daughter at this time. If you are looking to know more about the young man that your daughter is dating, it would help to convince your husband to at least talk to him some time. It doesn't have to be at your home; maybe you all could go out to lunch, or a movie, and talk. Be honest with him and her. Let them both know that you are concerned (about them both). Try not to make him (or you daughter) feel as though he is the enemy. Do your best to befriend him, and talk to him. I know that this will be difficult with the concerns about drug use, however, the fact is that you cannot force your daughter to do anything, especially with her being 18 (and practically an adult). You have to first convince her that you are on her side (her boyfriend included), not against them, nor them being together. However if they are going to get your support as a couple, you are requesting a few things. I will be on line if you need any further assistance. Just ask.
Expert:  Adviser Mills C.C.D. replied 5 years ago.
I would get her help right away, even against her will if you must. She needs to be in some sort of rehab program even out patient would be better than noting. I would not push the issue with the boyfriend, that will only push her towards him. Remember, you are the parent, get her safe first then deal with the rest.
Adviser Mills C.C.D., Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 153
Experience: 15 years Plus, Preschool Owner, Teen Mentor
Adviser Mills C.C.D. and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Adviser Mills C.C.D. replied 5 years ago.
I wish you the best.I am here to help if you need further assistance. Positive energy going towards your daughter! :)