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First of all, thank you for your prompt response! Unfortunately, we have tried the after-homework activities rewards you have mentioned. This is not a new thing for her. Ever since she started primary school she has hated doing her homework,
- sorry, pressed the wrong button there! I will continue where I left off - and it has gotten to the point where she finishes her homework way pass her bed time. In other words, no time for after homework activities! As I mentioned earlier, she seems to have no interests that we can use to our advantage....
All 3 tutors gave up on her!
Yes, she comes home from school, eats, has a half an hour break and then homework begins. Her mother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because they will be there, together, until 10 pm! As for rewarding her with friends comming over, we cannot. She has always been an outsider at school, and it was only this year that schoolmates started hanging out with her. We try to bring friends over as often as we can, for her own benefit, regardless whether or not she has completed her homework in a timely manner.
Then I would cut out the break when she gets home, be really firm, give her a drink at the table and begin. Dont stop for dinner or snack just persevere with completing the work, support her and give lots of positive encouragement.
Have you spoken with her teacher about the problems you are experiencing??
Once again, I thank you for talking to me and all of your suggestions. Her mother has sent her to bed on occasions without dinner (not often, obviously!) as a form of punishment, but she did not seemed phased by it. Both her parents have sat her down to talk to her, but she doesn't seem to care. As for encouragement, she has so much support from all of us - her parents, her aunt (me) and her grandmother - we all love her to death and are so proud of her and her sister and we tell this to them on a daily basis because it's the truth. They are both highly intelligent, beautiful little angels, however the eldest just seems to not want to do her homework.
Over the years all her teachers have said the same thing - she is extremely bright, but given a pillow she would probably fall asleep in the classroom...
I know she really has difficulty with maths (I am a physist and I was also a teacher, so I kind of recognize that she has difficulty in this subject) and I would understand why she would hate this subject, but she also procrastinates on her favourite subjects such as literature and history! She even won an award for the best essay in the whole school - a highly imaginative tale she wrote all by herself using words we never knew existed! - and yet she still drags her feet when it comes to studying even here!
-physicist - darn, no auto correct here! :)
Do you think that perhaps she is board and not being stretched enough. Has she been academically assessed, you say she has difficulty in maths but an exceptional vocabulary in english literature. She sounds exceptionally bright.
Have you tried removing priviledges if she doesnt complete homework such as television and computer?
Does she do homework in a room with no distractions? Just exploring every avenue!
Yes, she is extremely bored. We can't figure out a way to motivate her. As I mentioned earlier, she gets annoyed if someone gets a higher mark than her - especially in her specialty subject (which is Greek literature - they live in Greece!) however if we try to use that against her she lashes out accusing us of comparing her with other students and stuff like that. No, she has not been academically assessed (I think; I'm not sure what you mean by that). All priveledges have been removed but after a while my sister (her mother) finds that to be too cruel of a punishment, so some priveledges slowly begin to creep in again, only to be removed again, and the cycle goes on and on. She creates distractions if there are none around...
The key here, I believe, is indeed the fact that she finds learning stuff boring.
I believe you need to speak with the school about stretching her and providing appropriate activities to stretch her academically.
It seems you have tried everything to assist her learning to no avail and she is a very capable child who I true;y believe is bored as you say.
The school need to take responsibility for assisting you here.
I mean assessed as in her intelligence of ability for her age in certain subjects.
Her mother needs to have a meetsing with the principle of the school and explain all that has gone on, what you have tried, her reactions etc.
Are you still there?
Oh, right! Her current teacher told us that in philological studies (literature, history, essay writing, etc) she is at least a year advanced (at least!) but in everything else she is exactly what is to be expected of a child her age. I will go to the school on Monday. I would love to hear what they have to say about this, although I doubt I will get far. Nonetheless, I will try. I will also read all your suggestions again and try re-implementing some. All we want for her is to show some sign of interest. We don't care about her getting top marks, all we care about is for her to find a way to get motivated and interested. She cannot continue to depend on her mother (or any tutor) to sit there for hour forcing the information into her head, especially since it is so obvious that she is more than capable of reading herself. She just doesn't try. At all!
You sound as if you have all the ideas in place and are willing to give them all your best shot! If she is ahead in certain studies they should be stretching her in those. If she is struggling in maths for example she should be supported in this subject too. Its important to go into the head teacher with notes of whats happened, what you have triedm the childs reactions, your concerns and what you hope to gain from the school, that way they cant distract you from what you want to say.
I wish I did indeed have all the ideas in place! hahaha! We want nothing more than to see this angel freed from her frastration of having to "learn". It's not good for her, her self-esteem, or her mother who has to spend all those hours over her shoulder. I thank you for giving me the ideas to work on - even though we have tried, we may need to try again but this time pay more attention. We will indeed go to the head master. We will indeed have notes (that is something we have not tried before!). All we want is for the child to be happy.
I agree that this cant be any good for the child or her mother. It must be a stressful and unhappy time during the homwork battle. You all want whats best for her and thats the common ground you can work on with the school.
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Thank you Alison! Accept button has been pressed! Have a lovely day!