Parenting

Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Parenting
This answer was rated:

My husband is a stay-at-home dad, and I am working, and gone

for most of the day...
My husband is a stay-at-home dad, and I am working, and gone for most of the day. We have two sons, 5 and 6 years old. Almost from the beginning my husband and I argued about television. I think you should go somewhere with children, or go outside, or read books, especially if there is one parent who doesn't work in the outside world, and we have a large backyard. However my husband thinks differently. He thinks children learn from television, and it helps them "relax". He switches the TV on before he wakes them up. They watch TV when they come home from school, during lunch, during dinner, and then until 10 PM when they finally fall asleep on the sofa. Essentially, they do nothing else but watching TV, and always on full blast. When I come home and try to play with them, they stare at the TV and don't even see anything else, and then refuse to stop watching. When I turn the TV off they start howling. The little one however comes to me often and cries about something violent he has seen on TV (in the evening they watch adult program) but my husband just says he needs to toughen up, he is so sensitive.

This isn't a happy marriage, and I will talk to a lawyer soon, however I am wondering if there is anything that I could do to stop this now. My husband says all the studies showing that lots of TV is not good for children are lying, other children watch even more, etc. My children sit several hours at a time, transfixed, and snack chips, so he is turning them into couch potatoes. Are there any gadgets that would record how long the TV is on? The TV company claims they cannot stop service because - while I am paying the bill - he is listed as recipient and they will not change anything without his consent. Is there a self help group for this? Any idea you have would be appreciated. Thank you very much.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Answered in 42 minutes by:
5/10/2012
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
Verified
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am a Parenting Expert and Mentor and am here to help you by providing you with reflective insight and stimulating clarity.

There are several issues occurring in your life simultaneously and it is nonetheless very emotionally draining for anyone. As a working parent, you are doing all that you can to keep the household together. When it comes to your husband, he is using the television as a babysitter for the children. He is not having much meaningful interaction with them as they are at such an impressionable age. If they continue to sit around, watch tv, and snack on junk food, childhood obesity may become an issue if they are not getting adequate exercise.

Any professional involved with children will tell you that 1 to 2 hours of television per day is more than enough. However, most would tell you that one hour is enough. It is true that there are educational television shows on tv but not as many as in times past. Children are being exposed to many more inappropriate images on television...especially during the night time . Too much television will not do your children any good.

The next time that they have their yearly physical, see if you and your husband can attend. Mention the television issue. Your husband will hear the same facts about the dangers of too much television.

It sounds as though your husband is very strong willed. He seems to feel that his way is the correct way. He will not change his beliefs about the television issue. You cannot change him either. It is very sad that he refuses to spend quality time with the children. Maybe the demands of being a stay at home dad are overwhelming. Maybe he feels like a failure because he is not the primary money maker in the house. Maybe he misses intimacy between the two of you. Maybe having kids really was not in his plans. Maybe he feels trapped in the house.

Nonetheless, if you want to save the marriage then seek marital counseling. Your relationship will be very strained if you are not on the same accord with your husband with regards XXXXX XXXXX the children. That feature is a critical element toward having a peaceful home.

However, if you silly cannot take the relationship anymore because of whatever reason, then do what you think needs to be done. But children suffer during family break ups. So look at all your options carefully.

Anyway with regards XXXXX XXXXX television being monitored, you can contact our appliance/tv experts for further advice.

If you need further advice, let me know your thoughts.

Have an awesome day and stay encouraged. Your children still need you.

Thanks for allowing me to assist you.
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
Verified
proexpert37 and 87 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
professional_Alison
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience: Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
Verified
Hello there, may I help you? I assisted you with a similar question a few weeks ago. You are in a very difficult situation working and knowing that your husband is caring for your children in an unsuitable way. I think you need to try and get the children into some after school clubs or perhaps with a child minder to break the cycle of spending so
much time in front of the television. It seems you have tried to show your husband the damage he is doing with inappropriate television and too much television. He seems blinkered to the fact he is not caring for them properly. If at all possible try and find some extra care outside of the family home.

If you have reached breaking point in your marriage now is the time to implement changes with your children's care so they can adjust and get used to playing and being active. Learning to be occupied without the use of the television.
professional_Alison
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience: Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
Verified
professional_Alison and 87 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Hello dear client. From your other posts in the legal category, I ascertain that your funds are limited as well as your time. Putting the children in the care of someone else will not solve the issue with your husband. That would only be running away from the issue. He is the main problem and that's the starting point. You must sit down with your husband and in a calm and non threatening manner and explain to him how you feel. Tell him your frustrations. Also tell him about your hopes and dreams and aspirations. Ask him what he sees himself doing in a year from now or five years from now. Tell him how his actions are affecting the children. Ask him how he feels about the children. Tell him that you feel like you can no longer live the way that you are living. Get a feel for his response. He may have no knowledge how to be a parent but may be willing to learn....but that is an uncertainty.

From your initial question, your husband almost seems like he is another child as well. He does not seem like an equal partner in the relationship. What is he doing to provide for the family? Is he actively involved in your children's lives? Would your life be better without him? Think about these questions. You are the proactive parent. So you are going to be the one to take action for your sanity and for the sake of the children.

What I would suggest is to make a list of the reasons to stay in the marriage and the reasons to leave the marriage. Weigh the options. Then make another list of things you could do to be happier in the marriage, if possible, and another list of suggestions for your husband. Then make a final list of what your life would be like without your husband. No need to tell your husband about your lists. You are only trying to sort out your thoughts. Revisit the lists and decide to do what you can live with without feeling regretful . Sometimes, time heals all wounds but you may have already invested too much valuable time.

Economic times are very challenging for single parents but are not impossible. I am not saying that is the route to take though. Seek online single parent support groups and get advice from how they cope.

I know that you feel like your life is crumbling. Your children are young. You have so much to offer them. You have reached a storm in your life and will soon pass.

I am expert Jordan1314. Please direct further inquiries to me if needed regarding my suggestions above. Thank you .
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
Verified
proexpert37 and 87 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Please feel free to contact me again if I can assist you further.
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Glad to assist you. Thank you for the positive feedback. Request Jordan1314 anytime. I am here to serve YOU.

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Ask proexpert37 Your Own Question
proexpert37
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
1,374 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor

proexpert37 is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Cher

Cher

Teacher

94 satisfied customers

Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2

Jennifer

Jennifer

School Psychologist

77 satisfied customers

Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.

professional_Alison

professional_Alison

Child Care

78 satisfied customers

Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

40 satisfied customers

Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Doctor

38 satisfied customers

PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy

Eveningstargazer

Eveningstargazer

Family Counselor

31 satisfied customers

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Family Counselor

21 satisfied customers

Licensed social worker and psychotherapist

< Previous | Next >

Related Parenting Questions
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher is preparing our child for a dance competition. She keeps telling the child not to be nervous , not to be afraid. It seems to produce an opp… read more
Gaurav Gupta
Gaurav Gupta
MD, CEO
Post-Doctoral Degree
22 satisfied customers
I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year
Hi Pearl I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year old boy. I would like to get some advice on how to calmly handle my two year old. He is quite a handful, and it gets especially frust… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her grandparents). My current wife (her stepmom) and I are visiting my parents for the holidays with our two daughters. My daughter who lives w… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my boyfriend and I, we live together, and one of her biggest issues is that she doesn't stop lying, her lies go from “I didn't do it-to lying to… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with us. I've been with her mom for 10 years now and this child now adult has always been very selfish. She puts herself first for everything and … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as dysgraphia) which was diagnosed in grade one, but through the psych assessment we also learned he has extremely high cognitive ability. For … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to
i have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to teach him discipline because i don't wanna spank or hit. So ive been introducing tasks around the house. And geting him to say yes sir and no s… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has
Hi, I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has started spreading untruths this is a brief only Thank you janys… read more
CamilleRN
CamilleRN
Registered Nurse, Director of Nursing
4,150 satisfied customers
Dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think
dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think but when ever we will ask him to study he dont like. he make the face and you fell that he is sick. he sit long time for one subject to do hi… read more
danny541
danny541
Retired
608 satisfied customers
I raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me,
i raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me, to build a strong bond. i was a young single mom and did the best i knew how. i then ended up introducing someone into both of our lives th… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in school. I have put him on punishment, and he knows I am in constant contact with his teacher. It is not that he can't do his work, it is that he… read more
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Consultant Pediatrician
Doctoral Degree
2,246 satisfied customers
Whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in
whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in the orange county and LA area.… read more
Michael
Michael
Research Librarian
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
86 satisfied customers
This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a
(This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a parenting expert. I have a 5 year old pre-adoptive child in my home. I am her 5th placement in 3 years. This week, she received a diagnosis of… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Associate Professor of Communication
Doctoral Degree
102 satisfied customers
My three year old turning four in September still isn't
my three year old turning four in September still isn't potty trained. When he was two and a half his grandmother saw that he accidentally pooped his pants had lost her mind held him on the toilet and… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step son argues with me about everything I say. I'm tired
I'm tired of it and want to say something in a loving way … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed away, she disinherited her daughter, B.D. *******, because B.D. ****** wrote a book about her saying that she was a drunk and all of that. In … read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,718 satisfied customers
Far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled" Eyre"
far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte. In chapter one, ***** *****, the son of the Reed family, scolds Jane Eyre for reading one of the Reed family's boo… read more
Cher
Cher
Teacher
Masters Degree
94 satisfied customers
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl who will be 6 y/o on March, 2018 and my son who will be 3 years old this month (nov, 2017).Their personalities are very different and I'm very… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x