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earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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im needing advice on my 16 year old, he has started drinking

Customer Question

i'm needing advice on my 16 year old, he has started drinking and i'm not sure how to handle it, i'm not sure where or how he gets the alcohol, i have spoken to him about how it is not good for him especially at his age, i'm not sure what more i should say to him, i need some advice
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Good evening, this is Howard,

I'm sorry to hear about your son. How did you discover that he has been drinking? Do you know how much he is drinking and how often? Where does he drink? Is he attending school regularly? How are his grades?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

i have been able to smell the alcohol in his breath and the way he acts is different, he is not doing very good in school, he is failin all his classes.

how much drinking he is doing i'm not so sure, its mostly beer and i do believe its more than a 6 pack

Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
I would suggest that you encourage your son to attend individual counseling. He may be drinking to self-medicate for depression or anxiety.

Depending upon where you live, there may be a drug and alcohol diversion program which is geared towards teenagers. I suggest that you look into that.

I also encourage you to meet with your son's school counselor to find out exactly how he is doing in school and what he needs to do to improve. The school counselor will be able direct you to resources which are available in the community to help you and your son.

Do you have other children? If so, how are they doing? Are you a single parent?
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 5 years ago.

Hello there, may I help you? I have a few different ideas on this matter. Children of 16 will start to experiment with drinking when with friends. Whats important is that you discuss safety with him. The fact that he is only 16. It is all illegal and he could get into trouble when caught.


As you say his grades are failing at school. Try to discuss alternative options to going out with friends drinking. Encourage him to join some clubs or take up a hobby. Try to get him to have friends to the house or go bowling and to the cinema.


Drinking is part of a teenager experimenting and learning a degree of independence. I don't think there is anything wrong with you allowing your son to have one beer at home where he is supervised with friends but going out and getting drunk on the streets is dangerous for his health and safety.


You need to put this point across to him gently expressing that you love him, understand he wants to experiment, but to do it sensibly.

Expert:  earthsister replied 5 years ago.
Along with working to keep your son busy in other ways; groups, clubs, sports, etc., I would suggest showing him real life examples of people who are alcoholics; even if it means taking a drive around areas where "whinos" may frequent. Show him the possible negative outcome that could result from his drinking. Whether it's you doing the talking, or counselors; talk can only go so far. When we can teach through examples, and real life experiences, the lesson is easier and more likely to be grasped. I wish you all the best!