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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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my 15 year old soon to be 16 has beears. en going in our bdr

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my 15 year old soon to be 16 has beears. en going in our bdr stealing different things for the last few years. we punish him accordingly and he repeats the bad behavior. he is and alaways has been a high honors student and really lacks for nothing, except for excessiveness. i.e. we give him 5 bucks and a powerade and take him to golf daily, 4 trips for us. Not to mention golf attire,clubs,membership,jr toursThis is not good enough for him, he saw i went out front and he raced into our bdr and i caught him hauling 5 40oz. powerades out of our closed bdr. We have installed a lock on our door and put things up in there, feels like a prison here, HELP!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing with your son. As a Parenting Expert and Mentor, I am here to assist you. The concern is his stealing. Is he selling the items to give or sell to his friends? Most likely he is. Teens his age like to have money of their own. If he does not have a part time job or if you are not giving him an adequate amount of money for teenage activities, he will result to stealing and selling things. It seems to be a new trend of teens, especially boys, of selling things on eBay and Craig's List and even to friends. You must ask your son what is he doing with the items that he is stealing and why does he feel a need to steal. Children often steal for attention and also for the thrill of a feeling of power. Maybe peer pressure may be involved as well.

You must sit down with your son and have an open and honest talk with him. His actions need to be curtailed. Continue to enforce consequences for stealing. If he needs money, start having him do chores for money. However, pay close attention to how he spends his money. He must realize that as an adult, he would face stiffer consequences if he steals from others. Tell your son that you do not want him leading down that path.

If he refuses to open up to you and continues to steal excessively, you may want to seek the assistance from a counselor or psychologist who specializes in teen behavior. Your son needs to learn coping strategies of whatever issues are bothering him. That is my concern....something is causing your son to steal. You must uncover those reasons.

Nonetheless, maintain your parental authoritative control. Never fear your son. He does not control you. It is your house. Hang in there and stay encouraged.

If you need more assistance, let me know your thoughts.

Have a great day!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
he steal because he see's me and tiger woods living the high life, but only after 30 years of hard work, sacrifices, etc. I have 10-12 drivers, therefore he is entitled to 10-12 drivers, right. Tiger Woods has all the great clothes, he should have all the great clothes is his thinking. Only one big problem, Tiger makes 75 million a year and probly gets them for free. My son is broke at 15. So, he steals what he can get away with from us. We offer him koolade, tang, and give him 5 bucks, 1 40oz powerade a day. That's not good enough for him. He see's me w/ sport drinks as a pro and worked 30 years and sees himself as entitled i guess?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for responding. You stated that your son has everything he needs, correct?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Does your son personally know Tiger Woods? Is your son trying to be a pro golfer?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

he only knows tiger thru my Golf channel he watches all the time, magazines, etc

yes, he wants a career like tiger's, he is a high honor student as well.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
What is your son doing with the items he is stealing?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
drinking them, wouldn't every kid like to drink 3or4 powerade's a day? steals 30 -40 golf balls at a time to golf with, stole 1 of my 50 dollar colognes, his isnt good enough, remember he thinks that he is entiled to everything i have or tiger has, but exempt from the work or sacrafice's.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
With regards XXXXX XXXXX Powerade issue, maybe you should not keep any in the house. Your son has to respect the house rules, be obedient and not steal. He has to earn money from you to buy his own Powerade. With regards XXXXX XXXXX golf balls, keep them locked up or in your car. Give him the golf balls that he needs. You MUST tell him that he is not entitled to everything just because he wants it. His stealing is also a sign of immaturity. Since he admires Tiger Woods so much, tell him that Tiger did not steal to get where he is today. It takes hard work, sacrifice, and determination. Your son needs to learn to ask you when he needs things. There seems to be a break down in communication on the part of your son. He cannot continue to take things. You must foster open communication so that your son feels at ease when asking you for things within reason. Hopefully, you are not pressuring your son too much to be this great golfer. He needs work at a pace that his comfortable for him. He seems to be acting by stealing as a result of wanting to be the next Tiger Woods. He is probably frustrated that he is not living the good life. He must accept the fact that hard work pays off.
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