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professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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My 9 year old son has a crush on a girl in his class. He is

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My 9 year old son has a crush on a girl in his class. He is writing notes to her asking if she loves him and she is responding yes. She is writing notes to him asking, "Will you be my boyfriend?" They held hands in class during a movie and everyday he is asking when we can go to her house or when can she come over. I have encouraged a couple of trips for ice cream with her mom and myself present which went ok. He has had some issues with his other friends in class saying, "Cole loves Madison" and making fun of him. However, this has not reduced his crush on her in any way. Help! How do I foster positive self esteem, validate his feelings, and what are appropriate boundaries at this age?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.

KaterB1270 : Hello
KaterB1270 : I would like to help with your question. Are you available?
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
So sorry I was unable to catch you online. Just a couple questions to help me provide the best advice I can for your situation. First if I may ask is your marital status? Does you son see loving relationships around him which he may be trying to emulate? Also does the teacher feel that this is becOming a problem or just an innocent crush? Once I receive your response I will send you my answer as soon as I can. I also have a few books that might help in the situation. I look forward to working with you to help both you and your son deal with the crush.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am available. I did not realize it would be an online chat. I am happily married and work part time at my son's school. I have approached the teacher with concerns about his grades declining and a connection with his crush and other friendship issues it has caused in class. The teacher did express that she does not want to see him get hurt because his feelings appear more intense than hers.
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 5 years ago.
Hello there, may I help you? I think at nine years old this is not at all a friendship to worry about and asking her over for tea would be fine. If he is upset by others teasing him encourage him to stand up to them by agreeing with what they say. If they don't get a reaction from him they will quickly get board and a lot of teasing is jealousy. With regard to him getting hurt this is just part of the learning curve of growing up. Encourage other friendships by having others over to play and going for ice cream etc. Just try not to make too much of an issue of the friendship with this girl and it will either fizzle out or develop into a well balanced boy girl special friendship.

With regard to him passing notes this should be discouraged as will cause him to get into trouble with the teacher and not concentrate on his work. I wonder if you could request that they don't sit together in class so he is not distracted and also provide the opportunity to develop new friendships.
professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience: Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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