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KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience:  BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
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visitation court is being utterly ridiculous . my step kids

Customer Question

visitation court is being utterly ridiculous . my step kids have asked not to see their dad. at most talk to him 2 hours a week via phone. so court said to see them. they havent talked to him in 2.5 years. ignore him. were brain washed. say awful things about him, me and my daughter. they have been brainwashed but are as much as uncaring as their mom. they are 15 and 17. i get anxiety over this. so their mom may get her support suspended because she doesnt allow visitation. so no they are getting together. my spouse falls for them everytime when they say daddy blah blah blah. but the second their mom is "out of court trouble" they ignnore him again. im so tired of his ex saying awful lies about my spouse. she is a horrible woman who is married to her sisterex husband after starting an affair with him. they have no idea. I WANT HIM TO STOP GETTING SCREWED WIHT THEIR MOTHERS LIES AND BE HONEST WITH THEM FOR ONCE ABUT THE REAL TRUTH. i just cant take this..they are old enough to know the truth in facts (not shes a b*tch etc) just facts..
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.

KaterB1270 : Good evening...
KaterB1270 : It seems you are not online currently. I will answer your question in the Q and A section of Just answer.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
I can tell from your question this is a very stress inducing situation for you. I think the best thing is that you are seeking advice on the situation. I have to start with communication between you and your husband. The best way you can handle this situation is by discussing it with your husband. Since you are somewhat on the outside looking in it is easier for you to see the mistreatment that your husband is suffering with. ( I know this sounds strange that you are on the outside but in a way you can step back and see moreover what is going on). I think the more you and your husband can discuss what his daughters are doing ( most likely because of some coaxing from their mother) the better prepared he will be to deal with what is really happening. Most fathers want to believe what they are told by their children. It is hard for them to believe that maltreatment can occur. I think what you need to do to start is set a meeting time with him to discuss what you see and feel. By setting a time you will not be in an argument or stressed out and will be better able to communicate. It would be a great idea to write notes you want to share about what you see going on. I think your husband will at first be caught off guard but will then digest the information you share and see where you are coming from. The most important thing is that you understand this is about him and his ex and daughters not about your current relationship. Remember that the daughters and ex are trying to hurt him by attacking you and your daughter. I hope this has been helpful in dealing with your situation. If there is anything else I can assist with please don't hesitate to ask.


Please press accept as this is how I'm compensated for my time and talents.
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
Sorry I missed you in the chat. I will be online for at least another hour so please respond with any other questions you may have and I will happily answer them. KateB
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
he knows they are using him. but when he taks to them he forgets all about it. and treats them nie and they go back to their mohter and says awful things about him. he keeps failling for it. i understand he is their dad, but i want him to be honest for once about their mom since she ALWAYS lies about him. he is getting used all around. why cant he just say "look i know what your mother says about me but here is my version"
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
I wish I were able to wave a magic wand and make that happen. The hardest part about being a parent or step-parent is that sometimes things take much longer than we want to accept. It is unfortunate but the daughters may not change until they have a chance to have their own ideas about their father. I understand your frustration about your husband not speaking out about what is going on. Keep in kind these are his "little girls" and that he just wants to keep the relationship going at all costs. He is honestly afraid of losing them even if they treat him poorly. As far as within the court you may ask to speak to a mediator who could hash things out a little more between your husband and his ex- wife.

I hope this helps and again I'll be online until 10 EST if you need anything else.
KaterB1270 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
can he BE HONEST WITH THEM FOR ONCE ABUT THE REAL TRUTH. i just cant take this..they are old enough to know the truth in facts (not shes a b*tch etc) just facts..

thats my question. they r 15 n 17
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
I can only imagine your frustration. Hang in there and continue to do the best you can.