Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers
Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families. I am also a mom of Twins.
how old are the kids and how many?
Daughter 10, and Son 7
ok and what is she struggling with exactly in terms of responding to their needs? does your wife suffer from depression?
sorry i am just on the phone to my mother
sorry i wont be long
no worries. I am here dont rush. hi to Mum!
sorry i am done
thank you for your patience
it sounds like your wife may be suffering from depression which is causing extreme overwhelm and difficulty in managing the kids
tell me a bit more
My daughter called my wife upstairs to lie with her and my daughter was looking to have
to have what?
sorry to have chat
and my wife lost her temper with my daugter
and what happened? became frustrated, yelling?
and shook her
sorry my mom is on the phone again
yes frustrated and yelling and shook her
it sounds that your wife is suffering from depression and she needs to be evaluated so that she can get the help she needs. Do you feel your kids are in danger fro m her when you are not there?
no one is physically hurt but my daughter got a fright and so did my son and i
yes I imagine so as it seems out of character.
my wife is curled up behind a chair at the moment asleep
Are you comfortable to get your wife into therapy and have her evaluated?
if she is depressed even the slightest things can feel overwhelming
I have been trying to get her into therapy for some time
and she is resistant why?
i believe she is afraid of it as it is frowned apon in the irish community
I understand that from the cultural perspective but it doesnt need to be advertised. it sounds to me like there really is no other choice here. She is suffering and so is the family and depression and anxiety effects the whole family not just the person who is suffering.
I will happily do it
How do i convince her to go?
yes you sound very willing and open and I commend you for that. It really isnt a choice but rather a necessity and can you impress that upon her?
I will be speaking to her first thing in the mornoing
by telling her that the whole family is suffering and things need to change and it is not her fault...she deserves to feel better and can. nobosy else will be told if that is what she desires
does that feel manageable?
She point blank refuses to go for help
she must go because it is effecting everyone
I have been trying for a long time (a few years)
she is scared and that is understandable...go with her initially to make her feel more comfortable
yes I think that we all need to go and see someone
then that is how you tell her and if she wont go please go yourself and with the kids
you need the support too...as I said it effects the whole family
yes thank you
if she is depressed and wont get help how do i deal with it
that is why you need the support too so you can figure out what works for you and how you can proceed in the marriage
you want the marriage, yes?
but it is not working well because of this?
yes but i dont want the fighting anymore, i have seen enough pain without it in my home
ok well then you can also say that to her and how she needs to get the help and you will go together
that is the place to work from then
i will try that again
i know you have tried before but be consistent...we must do this in order for the marriage to work and the family to stay together
ok thank you
my pleasure. let me know how you are doing. come back for more support if needed.
ok thank you, XXXXX XXXXX now