Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.
I am assuming you are asking about your daughter and her wanting to live with her father. I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You feel like you are having to choose between your partner and her.
I know that her not living with you would feel like you were betraying her. But I would like you to reconsider this. If her father is willing for her to live full time with him, then I believe she is right: that living situation is a more normal situation than the one she can have with you and your partner at this time.
Your partner would need to commit to becoming much more of a committed parent than he is willing to be at this time. And to start out parenting with a 14 year old who has her own ideas and isn't ready to accept his authority as a "stepdad" is not easy.
And so I'm not sure that there is enough to gain by going through the family therapy that would make it more of a healthy environment in your house for her if her father is willing for her to live there full time. The goal would be for you to have one day a week together. Then you could spend a little time at your house but time going out together, shopping, talking, lunch, etc. This might be easier on everyone.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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