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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3442
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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I think my son may be gay. How can I talk to him about th

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I think my son may be gay. How can I talk to him about this?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  The1Caretaker replied 5 years ago.
-- How old is your son and what makes you think this? Does he live with you? Whatever details you can provide will be very helpful

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
Hi and welcome.
I commend you for coming here to talk about this. It sounds like by you coming here and asking this question that you are in a place of love and acceptance if he is gay, and that is fantastic and the place to go from when you decide to talk with him.

If he feels your support and love then he might have an easier time talking to you about his feelings and be able to come to terms with things for himself if he is struggling. So, before you decide to speak with him, just check in with yourself to understand your feelings about it and how you might feel if he, in fact, tells you that he is gay.

The best thing any parent can do in this situation is to provide the love and support in what can be a challenging time. So, without knowing his age I will offer some suggestions on how to speak with him and you can let me know how this feels for you.

"Honey, I want to talk to you about a delicate subject and if you are not comfortable I understand, but am here for you no matter what. If you are struggling with your sexuality or are clear about your sexuality and are gay, I want you to know that I love you and accept all of you and embrace every aspect of you and your life. I want us to remain close and just know I am here to talk with you about any of it. You are my child and I love you no matter what."

This will show him that no matter what, you are there for him and if he is walking around with a huge weight on his shoulders then this can lighten the load for him and allow him to feel free within himself.

How does this sound for you? Let me know your thoughts. Again you sound like a wonderful parent and I look forward to hearing back from you.
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3442
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
TherapistJen and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  The1Caretaker replied 5 years ago.
I do a great deal of counseling for this specific, sensitive issue and really feel that getting to know you, your feelings about this, the extended family involvement and possible reactions, plus, importantly you son's age group and personality are rather important since this isn't something that is just about one on one, but involves so much and so many more.

My colleague gave a fine response, however, if you would like to pursue a more in depth, personal response based on your specific family needs, please let me know.