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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My daughter is 13 and her room is a disaster. I enforce her

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My daughter is 13 and her room is a disaster. I enforce her to clean it or can't stay at a friends etc. She will then comply. Next day it is business as usual...a mess, clothes on floor everywhere! Everywhere she goes is a disaster, theatre room, family room, kitchen, messes everywhere. What to do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter and her tidiness. Just to alleviate your concerns, please understand that many teenagers leave their rooms a complete mess. You are not alone in your feelings. No matter how much you may rant and rave about her cleaning up after herself, it really will not change her actions. Your daughter needs to develop an inward desire to want to change. You can help her by encouraging her and reinforcing desired behavior.

To start, tell her what you expect when it comes to keeping a clean room or other areas in the house. When she does comply. REALLY praise her accomplishments. Then give her 5 points on a chart for a clean area. After a certain number of points, let's say 50 to 75, she receives a small monetary incentive or another special treat or outing or even new clothes or items to enhance her room. The key is to be consistent and notice even small improvements. It will take time so please be patient as changes will take time. If she keeps being messy, she receives nothing. Nonetheless, children are more motivated to change their behavior when rewards are involved! Therefore, focus on the positive to decrease the negative behavior.

Have an awesome day! Glad to assist.
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