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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My fifteen year old daughter is driving me to a breakdown. She

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My fifteen year old daughter is driving me to a breakdown.
She has always lied (this is not a new teenage thing. at the age of 2 she looked me in the eye and told her first lie. The lies have come thick and fast over the preceeding years.
She has failed to apply herself at school since about the age of 7. she really seems to care about nothing and has no concern how much I get hurt.
I have discovered this weekend that she has been regularly stealing cash from my bank account, using it to buy meals and drink clothes, fake tan and nails. I discovered that she had used my card to withdraw £70 0n Saturday.
I feel like my world is imploding. Her brother and sister will no longer speak to her and I cant even look at her. She shows no remorse and the lies continue, even as I sob.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you have with your daughter. Would you please be so kind as to answer some questions so that I can better understand your situation?Are both parents residing in the home?Does your daughter have many friends? What are they like, if so?Has your daughter ever been violent?What are the ages of her siblings?How does she perform academically in school?Has she ever had counseling?Thank you!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No my husband and I divorced 4 years ago . He still lives locally but because it is too far away for her to see her friends she rarely visits him.
My daughter has lots of friends, most, enjoy fashion and going out, like her but, unlike her they seem to be good students and keen to do well, if anything she is the disruptive one amongst them.
My daughter has never been violent to her family or friends. Ive never known her to fight.
her sister is 17 and her brother is 14.
Academically she is bright and manages to scrape through with last minute effort. She never does her homework and receives a detention at least once a week and has done since the age of 8/9 years.
I did consider counselling after my divorce. the school arranged a counsellor and I met with her prior to her meeting my daughter, but I didnt really feel she would be right for her. there was just something ?
Hello and thank you for responding. Your daughter is manifesting typical teen age behavior but to the extreme. She has learned how to push your buttons from an early age. All of her actions are attention seeking behavior starting with the lying at an early age. Although her actions are all negative, she enjoys the attention. She craves it in an odd way. You cannot change her because her behavior has been going on for too long. She will continue to walk over you unless you seek professional outside assistance from a neutral third party that can provide you with intervention and coping strategies in dealing with your daughter. You must realize that you do not have to be in this situation alone. It is difficult as a single mom in dealing with such a defiant child. Additionally, counseling for your daughter would help. Start out discussing your daughter's academic situation with her school counselor. She needs to be held accountable for her school performance. Then if you do decide to seek professional counseling, family therapy may help as well so that you all can sit down and discuss your family issues. Also, your daughter may have some self esteem issues that may cause her to act the way she does.

Hope this has provided you with a sense of direction and insight.
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