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I know what your saying is right, but I keep pressing on saying no to myself, but now reaching 50 seems like I do not have but only 10-20 years to live and do not want to go to my grave empty.
Its hard for me to understand why anyone would choose not to be close. Always distant, withdrawn, unfriendly and unhappy unless there is something negative to resist. But, friendliest person in the world on the surface to complete strangers and her dad if he comes and treats her like she is a 3 year old.