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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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She has been gone for weeks not. She sent e mail today saying

Resolved Question:

She has been gone for weeks not. She sent e mail today saying she totally hapingo one on fer life
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. Could you please provide detailed information regarding your daughter's leaving? Thank you!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I wrote you with this about several weeks ago and you wisley advised me to just let her go and I have done that. Me and my husband are getting along better and my other children are doing better. She emailed my husband as well saying she is having the time of her life. To remind you of the case this is what I wrote to you


I have a seventeen year old daughter who is totally out of control. She will not help around the house or take her school work seriously at all. She is verbally abusive to me and my husband. Additonally she is treats her brother who is 15 and her other sister who is 13 like crap. Over the Christmas hour there was a major fight because she wanted to spend Christmas with her boyfriend and his family. I did not want to let her go but my husband said just let her go so that maybe we could have a nice Christmas with our other 2 children. The reason I did not want to do that is that both sets of Grandparents came for Christmas. However my husband said just let her go so I reluctantly agreed. Both sets of grandparents were ver hurt by this. When I tried to tell my daughter how sad they were she said she did not give a sh---. Now she want to go live with her boyfriend who is 18. I don't want to let her but my husband says he cant take this anymore and to just let her go He says if I don't agree to this is going to leave me. The thing is I have not work in over 20 years and really do not have skills to get a job. Do I just let her go or do I stick to my guns and keep up with the discipline or just let her go. I wanted to add she does not refer to us and mom and dad she refers to us as bitch and bastered. Please tell me want to do I am totally lost. As a final note my other two children say they want her gone. My huband says if she does improve or leave he will be moving out on February 1


Already Tried:
Talking to her. Tried spending mother daugter time toegether. Taking privledges away such as going out with friends, phone, car, and internet. Family Counseling, Sending her to counseling, boot camp. Assigning extra chores.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Also we did sign the permission to marry. My husband says he feels bad about the way this has turned out for her but in his opinion the only way to change it is to let her see how tough life is. Her brother reported to me last night that he saw my daughter and her husband fighting on the street two weeks ago. I don't know what to think.


Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Did she move in with her boyfriend? Does she still attend school? Is she planning on getting married? Any mention of a job?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

She did move in with her boyfriend and I meant to say husband. I know she is working at a beauty salon as a recptionist. She is still bombarding me and my husband with e mails saying she is having the time of her life. My husband told me if that were true she would not be doing that. My 15 year old son said he saw them on the street two weeks ago fighting. I am also a little concerned because my 15 year old says he hates his sister and will never speak to her again. The thing is he is so sweet I have never seen him so angry with anyone in his life. My husband has tried to explain to him he understands what he is feeling but that it is wrong to hate his sister. But my son says he will never forgive her for the way she has been acting. How do I guide him do I let my son work this out for himself or do we speak or we keep talking to him. I am sad about my daughter but I am relieved she is not here.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for responding. Your daughter may say that she is happy because she has so much freedom. But she is young and will soon find out how hard life really is. When she emails you, tell her that you are glad that she is happy and want her to be successful in life. However, her boyfriend may be manipulating her but on the other hand he may be the nicest guy in the world and your daughter and husband may defy the odds. With regards XXXXX XXXXX son, he is really confused about the situation as you all are because of your daughter's disrespect. Your son may come around in time. Do not keep talking about the subject unless he brings it up. There is peace in your house now. Be thankful for that. It is understandable to be sad about your daughter but sometimes she must learn things by being out there in the world by herself. Just try to keep the lines of communication open even if you do not agree with her life situation. She is or almost is an adult so she must now accept adult responsibilities.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you so much. I am going to let him work this out for himself. My husband is very close to my son. They are each others best friend. I am close to him to but the two of them really like to do guy stuff. My husband has talked to my son about this and they went out to lunch together and said they had a nice talk. My son did say he is still very angry and does not know if he will be able to forgive and forget. We are at peace now and we have decided to leave the lines of communication over. My son is a very sensistive person and gets emotional about things. My other daugher my youngest says she can forgive if my 17 year old apologizes. Hopefully there will be a happy ending in the end