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Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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My 16 year old daughter wants to go to a music festival that

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My 16 year old daughter wants to go to a music festival that ALL her friends will be going to after her examns this Summer. She is working very hard for her exams and I feel she should be rewarded for doing so and be allowed to go. My husband is completely against the idea since she has a couple of times this year been drunk at parties. I dare not even raise this issues at home incase she jsut downs tools and refuses to work. my husband and daughter are very similar characters and often clash. he is convinced ahe is going to get drunk, have sex, take drugs. she just wants to be with her mates - but is no angel.

Good morning! It sounds as if there is no room for negotiation with your husband on this... but if you can open up another discussion on the subject, I might suggest that you tell him that you know that he is fearful for her safety and feels responsible to protect her. It can be very difficult for a father to let go of his need to keep a daughter safe, but quite possibly there can be a plan designed to make them both happy.


Is it possible that a contract is drawn up between them which outlines the behaviors that if she demonstrates at this concert, will limit her privileges in the six months to follow? Such as: any under-age drinking, drugs, etc... If they both sign it, and if you tell her this is her final chance to prove that she is responsible or you cannot allow her to make her own choices for the next 6 months.


Teenagers need to have power and the ability to learn from their mistakes, as well as the trust of their parents. I truly hope that your husband is willing to compromise, because we ALL make faulty decisions while growing up, but the purpose is to learn from them and do better the next time. I wish you the very best!

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