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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3499
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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Hi, I have a 16 year old niece whos not behaving or keeping

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Hi, I have a 16 year old niece who's not behaving or keeping to house rules. She is attending school although her grades have slipped. She has had several parties recently unbeknowing to her parents and caused some damage. She ran away rather than deal with her parents. I have been acting as a mediator between her and her parents because she struggles to get her point across. Her parents are good parents and do allow her plenty of freedom, ie home 930pm school nights, 11pm weekends, however this has been getting later and later. She stayed with me for 3 nights.I took her back home last night , 3 hr round trip, and sat with her and her parents to sort it out. She set her own times of coming home but didnt comply and got home 45 mins late. Her parents are afraid she will run away again or not comply but she's not doing that anyway. She's upset with them for locking her out of the house and packing her things although they regret that now and said sorry. She seems to be getting it all her way! Both parents work and are not home until 6pm so a degree of trust is required.. where do we go from here? She is doing her GCSE's this year.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
Hi, I am sorry for the struggles with your niece and her parents right now. You are doing a great job mediating but that can also confuse things for her...meaning it is up to the parents to set the rules and stick with them and provide the consequences when she doesn't follow through.
she also sounds like she would benefit from some counseling and maybe some family counseling to figure out what is going on and her not respecting her parents and her parents need the support to get through this tough and sadly typical adolescent space. she is asserting her independence and trying to spread her wings, but sadly doing it in inappropriate ways. The whole family needs the support. would she do better living with you?
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