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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3392
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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I am having difficulity with my 14 year old daughter. She is

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I am having difficulity with my 14 year old daughter. She is unwilling to have difficult conversations with me. When she disagrees with something, then she just screams and says that she is unwilling to talk about it. The 3 current topics: too much time on the internet, focusing and doing school work, and eating issues (she has a eating disorder and is unwilling to work on helping herself even after 3 years of counseling).
My goal is to have a healthy conversation with her about the topics, but she won't even let me address them. As you know, a conversation has to go both ways and without her willingness, it just turns into frustration and anger. Thoughts?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
She is in the teenage years and this is normal. The eating disorder is another way that she is trying to gain control. I would be very clear on what your boundaries are and then stick to them with consequences for not following.
she does need some leeway on things so that she can fell like she has some control so pick the things where you feel like you can give in on a bit so that you can develop more harmony and respect.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for that. I have spoken w her about the Steven Covey 7 Habits, and specifically about the emotional bank account. That we both need to responsible to make deposits into the account to make sure there is enough to cover the withdrawals. She understands it from an intellectual level, but following through with this is a big challenge. When she is unwilling to even spend the time to discuss things, it is hard to have consequences. What are some age appropriate consequences?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
Well you said it right..she gets it intellectually but it is a bit over her head emotionally. Can you pull back a bit and try to be a bit more relaxed?
Age appropriate consequences are loss of privileges she enjoys....not sure what gadgets she has, cell phone, ipad, etc.
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