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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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When your teen starts to lie and hangout with a group of kids

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When your teen starts to lie and hangout with a group of kids that your not comfortable with. What is a easy way to stop. We stopped her from seeing them out of school but in school still hangs out with them?
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your daughter. However, do know that what you are experiencing is completely normal as she struggles to assert her independence. She would rather listen to her friends than respect parental authority. She feels like it is the "cool" thing to do right now in being sociable even though it is with the wrong crowd. If you try push your daughter away from being with her friends, that will unfortunately make her want to be with them even more. What you can do is not verbally attack her friends. She will feel like you are attacking her as well. Keep talking about how the actions of her friends are not good choices and will lead her down the wrong paths. Tell her that she can earn back her phone, computer, etc., when she starts pulling up her grades. Additionally, PLEASE do keep her involved in church and as many youth activities that you can. Even have a youth leader counsel her if necessary. You can not select the friends for your daughter. Just keep her surrounded by people on the right path. Limit all outside the house activities with these friends. There is nothing you can do about her seeing them at school unless she changes schools. You must tell your daughter about being a leader vs. being a follower. It sounds like she has allowed herself to be a follower of the wrong crowd. Continue to discuss how important it is to make good choices which will result in being successful. She needs your guidance. Do not give up on her. You are slowly providing her with the wings to fly but she still needs some more feathers from you. Keep the communication open and honest with your daughter. She will be fine. This is a stage and will soon pass. :)
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