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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3493
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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we have a 19 year old son who we adopted when he was almost

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we have a 19 year old son who we adopted when he was almost 5. He is full of rage and anger, disrespectful and threatens us. We have taken him to several therapists through the years but never connected to any of them. He says he doesn't need help. We hadf to ask him to leave the home because we have other kid in the home. we have dealt with the anger and rage for years. All the proffessionals including the police have told us we have done everything we can. He has been out o9f the home for a year but is always trying to get back in. Our question is, have we done the right thing. we have been told to let him go- he has to get to the end of himself, to be uncomfortable enough to deal with his issues. Have we done the right thing?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
As painful as it is right now and has are doing the right thing for youselfves and for your other children at home. He is allowed to be in pain, but hhe is not allowed to abuse and threaten you. I commend you for setting and maintaining that boundary.
You can give a clear set of rules such as you are not allowed in the house until you are in therapy and remain there. Him not connecting to a therapist s just another obstacle he has set for himself.
I know you are in pain, and I feel for you, but you are doing the right thing for the rest of the family. He is 19 and needs to get his act together and the current situation has not been working or healthy for anyone.
Please let me know how else I can support you.
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