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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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my girlfriends son is 5 and he has a huge problem being put

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my girlfriends son is 5 and he has a huge problem being put to bed or going to bed or just the whole idea of bed time in general. He Demands the doors not be shut to his mothers room or his own. He Demands the lights be on. And just throws the biggest nastiest fit you have ever seen almost every single night... He has done this forever. I want to help her but i dont know what to do. His mom is perfect to him he is treated great all the time we dont know where this comes from.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. Do you live with your girlfriend? Did the son ever sleep in the same bed with his mom? Thanks!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No i dont live with her i stay over on weekends at most. As for sleeping in her bed yeah he still tries to sneak in and get in her bed but from what im told he hasnt actually done that for a long long time..

You need to create -- and stick to -- a routine for the 20 to 30 minutes before the son goes to bed each night. First, make a bedtime chart, using pictures of items such as a toothbrush and pajamas to represent steps in the routine. This will help him keep track of everything he must do and give your nights more predictability. Second, make the last part of his routine a favorite activity, such as reading a book or playing with a toy. Then keep a sticker chart for every night that he goes to bed without problems. After 5 stickers, he gets a treat or a special outing. Then after a few weeks, change the number to 10. Make sure he knows what treat he is working toward. Children will often work hard to change their behavior when a reward is involved. The key is consistency though.
Hope this was helpful.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
what would you suggest for a punishment when he acts the way he does? we have taken away his gaming on the wii and his ds but havent affected his actions..
As for punishments, take the light away until he settles down. Have your girlfriend close her door if she needs to until she he settles down. Just because he throws a tantrum does not mean that he gets his way. He is manipulating your girlfriend. He knows that all he has to do is to throw a fit to have his way. Ignore him as well. He wants attention. Do not give him the negative attention he is seeking. Tell him that when he settles down, he will be attended to promptly. Stop giving in to his demands. He is the child and the parent should always remain in control.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you again for your help.