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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Im concerned about a young couple who use the time out method

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I'm concerned about a young couple who use the 'time out' method to discipline their son who is 2 years 10 months. The problem is when they use this method to control bad behaviour the child is locked in his room while on the naughty chair. Could this be harmful or am I worrying needlessly.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Is the couple related to you? What kind of bad behavior does the child manifest? Is child locked in a room with the door completely locked? Does the 2 year old attend pre school? Thanks!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi yes i'm granny. He threw his dinner plate off the table, my son told me about the incident and also about his own concerns about getting discipline right. He regards XXXXX XXXXX in the room (bar lock on outside of door which was there when they moved into the house)as part of the punishment and the only way to get his son to stay put. They check on him frequently and don't think he moves from the chair. He will start pre school in September. I don't interfere but the door locking worries me.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hi Grandma! How lucky you are to have grandchildren. You cannot lock a child in a room with a bar on the door. That hinges on abuse. The parents have no idea what their son is doing in the room. Use a naughty chair in full view of the parents. Also, your grandson needs to be taught appropriate behavior and right from wrong. Sending him to his room and locking him up is not an effective way to deal with the problem. Disciplining a two year old takes patience and consistency. It is not easy. Your grandson must learn what he did wrong and must be told what he should be doing. His parents need to model appropriate behavior. The locking up in the room is not a good idea. If he goes to school and mentions this to a teacher, the Department of Social Services will come to investigate. I am sure your family does not need that drama.

Have a wonderful day!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for the advice which has been very helpful and I agree with you. Now the problem is conveying this to my son. I had intended just to let him read this correspondence but he will be very upset to see that he's been bordering on abuse! I also know that he will be concerned and will take your advice seriously. His wife, however may see this as interfering. I guess i'll just have to live with that. She is a stay at home mum while my son runs his own business. In general I do regard her as a good Mum and hopefully can reassure her of this.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Do you have a good relationship with your son?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Let your son read this . You love your family and only want the very best for all of them. You are not doing anything wrong. You are just worried about the emotional and physical safety of your grandchildren. Much success to you and your family.
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