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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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I am a single mother who until 2 years ago lived with my parents

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I am a single mother who until 2 years ago lived with my parents in their home. Since moving to our own home my 14 year old daughter has lost all respect for me and the house house we live in. Also I have a boyfriend for the last 3 years who she hates, he does not live in the house but stays at the weekends. How do I get my daughter to be more respectful and understanding
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter. She is at the age at which she is greatly influenced by peers. She does not care much about family and the home environment. It is just a stage as most if not nearly all teens will manifest such behavior at some point in their teen age years. It will pass in time as she matures. What you must do is first find out what is bothering her. If she says "Nothing," do not just dismiss it. Tell her that you do not appreciate her negativity and will not allow it but you would like to talk about it. She is taking her frustrations out on you for some reason. Maybe she is being bullied at school? Maybe she has been rejected and ridiculed by some former friends? Maybe she does not like your boyfriend or your new home? Maybe she is feeling pressures at school by peers to do things? If she will not talk to you, then maybe she can write her feelings down in a letter that you can discuss. Finding out the root of the problem is the first step. If she still will not discuss her problems with you, then you may need to seek family therapy so that both of you can learn intervention and coping strategies to live together amicably.

In the meantime, you must not fear the disrespectful ways of your daughter no matter what. You are the parent. You are the authoritative one. Maybe she thinks she can get away with her actions because you are a single mother. But keep discussing rules and consequences. Even make her seem like she has some say in the matter by asking her what does she think would be appropriate consequences for her disrespect. If her ideas seem too far
fetched, stick with your own. If she is so rude, continue to take away material things and limit free time with friends. However, when she does have good days, please praise her, and laugh, and have a good time.

Thank you. Hope this was helpful!
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