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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hi! My 10 year old daughter has been having behavior problems

Resolved Question:

Hi! My 10 year old daughter has been having behavior problems in school, and they've gotten much worse this past year. The classroom she is in is small and very crowded and she is unhappy about being in there. She complains to the teacher constantly that it's too noisy, that the kids talk too much, etc. She's bothered by ordinary noises like pencil tapping or people smacking their lips, etc. The teacher has tried to sit her in different areas of the classroom but that hasn't helped. The school allows her to leave the classroom any time the noise is too much to tolerate for her, but the problem is she now spends more time out of the classroom than in it. The teacher also says she hasn't been doing homework, which I know she has because every night I check her assignment book and after dinner she is required to do her homework. I also check it after it is done. The only thing I can think of is she's not passing it in. I've asked in the past if she passes her homework in and she says she does. I'm at my wits' end, because I don't know how much more I can do and if seems like all the teachers are looking to me to magically solve her problem. I believe them about the noise intolerance because she has a similar, though less serious, problem at home, where she doesn't like family members making certain noises, like whistling or singing. Her teacher seems nice, so I don't think it has anything to do with them not getting along.

I talk to my pediatrician about this and she said those behaviors don't seem like a big deal to her and to just put her to bed earlier so she's not as cranky and remembers to turn in her homework. I relayed this to the teacher and the school guidance counselor at her last IEP and they went ballistic. They told me my pediatrician is completely incompetent and I should switch doctors.

I'm currently doing some things the school recommends like enrolling her in a group activity (swimming class) and I'm trying to get a therapist lined up, though so far I'm having zero success in finding a therapist who will return my calls.

Is there anything more I can do about this problem? I'm afraid my daughter is going to have to stay back this year.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. Why does your daughter have an IEP?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She originally had it because of a speech delay, but still is on it because she has behavior problems in school.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
What you need to do is have the school psychologist intervene until you find a therapist. He/she can observe your daughter in the classroom setting to ascertain what is really going on. The school psychologist can also meet with your daughter to provide her with intervention and coping strategies in dealing with the noises at school as well as the importance of completing assignments in school and at home. Ask your daughter's pediatrician for a referral to a child therapist. In the meantime, your daughter must do the best she can to stay involved with school activities. If she cannot focus and has trouble with completing assignments and is easily distracted, she may have some signs of ADD. However, she must be completely evaluated before such a diagnosis like that is made. Just a few things to keep in mind. Hope this helps. Have a wonderful day!
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