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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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I need your advice please. I came home at lunch today to find

Resolved Question:

I need your advice please. I came home at lunch today to find my 20 yr. old daughter and her boyfriend showering together in our family/home shower and who knows what else. I was so embarrassed I couldn't say anything. He snuck out of the bathroom into her bedroom while I was in the kitchen and she came out red in the face but I couldn't say anything. Hopefully she doesn't think I am that stupid. I haven't seen her since then because she is at work. I know she is 20...but in our own shower? They both know we don't approve of them having sex. What a violation! Also, her Dad and I told her we don't want her having sex this young, so she told us she stopped. Must have been a lie. Does this constitute a consequence? Should I bring it up to her? Or play dumb? They go back to separate colleges in two days. Thank you!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

There is no reason to play dumb with her as everyone knows what had transpired. Since this is your home where this had occurred, you can talk to her about respecting your space in the future by not bringing male companions when you're not there. You may think about taking her key for the time being.

 

As far as being sexually active at 20, it is not too young. Your main concern may be that she uses protection and does not get pregnant before she graduates and is on her own two feet.

She is an adult and you can talk to her as one and let her know that your expectations of her are reasonable (what they should be of you interacting with another adult)

 

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