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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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I have a question concerning parenting. I have a 17 year old

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I have a question concerning parenting. I have a 17 year old very good daughter. She has been on a basketball team for 5 years. She is second string due to a new girl coming to the school the coach basically recruited. He leaves her sit on the bench At the beginning of the year she was doing great. The new girl was out. She improved beyond anyone s expectations. As soon as the other girl was well he took her out. The other player was only slightly better at a few skills. My daughter is ignored by the coach and only put on when her team is up by 50 for 3 minutes. The problem. She was a straight a student until the extra time needed for basketball. She now is a b average. She chooses not to put any extra effort into her practice. Only does what she has to do. We go to every game to see her wasting time to just be with her friends. I to,d her last night when she was put in at the end and missed all her shots. It is decision time. Either she puts extra work into her game instead of watching tv it I am pulling her off the team. Ugh. I didnt want her to be a quitter or lose her friends. It is an important year to for academics. Junior in high school. She nor any of the other girls on the team will talk to the coach nor the parents due to fear of his rath against the children. She has refused to put any extra work into her game for five years. I can t stand to see her humiliated any longer. She has a heart of gold. At this point both my husband and I are thinking of not going o any more of her games if she refuses or finds excuses not to add even 30 min to get better. We love our daughter and want to do the right thing. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I have three sons who all play basketball. My oldest is a junior in high school as well. However, he is a starter. But in the past, he was on several travel basketball teams. I would attend the games and he would play the last few minutes of every game. I was upset just like you are feeling because I felt like it was a waste of time. However, keep your daughter on the team at least for the rest of the season. If you pull her off, she will learn that you should just quit when you are faced with adversity. Even though she may not play many minutes, she is still part of the team. Winning is a team effort whether she is cheering her teammates on during games, playing in actual games, and practicing her hardest. However, she may be burned out with basketball and may need a break and therefore refuses to try any harder. So sit down and talk to your daughter. If she feels burned out and wants to put more effort into her studies, then that may be a choice of stopping with basketball after the season. But if she really loves the games and enjoys the company of her teammates, then allow her to continue to be on the team. Whatever is decided upon, make sure that your daughter is the one who makes the decision and is ok with her decision in the end.Have a great day.
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