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KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience:  BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
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After having a discussion with my 5 year old daughters teacher

Customer Question

After having a discussion with my 5 year old daughters teacher this morning, I have learnt that she has a great friendship with a little girl but this has now become so exclusive that they no longer speak or play with anyone else to the point it has upset other children. In addition my daughter is the eldest in the year and her friend is the youngest and whilst her friend has developed greatly they feel my daughter is not getting anything out it at all and has started to mimic baby talk. She is a very nurturing child and caring but previously was the girl in class that welcomed everyone and would not let anyone be excluded. I always talk to her about friendships and she indicates friendly with everyone. School are not suggesting they do not become friends but for us to support - advice on tackling this with her or why she may be doing?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.

KaterB1270 :

Good Morning

KaterB1270 :

I just had a couple questions that will help me to answer your question.

KaterB1270 :

Does your child see the other young lady outside of school or just during the school day?

KaterB1270 :

Are there any changes going on at home that could be causeing your daughter to revert in behavior at all?

Customer : Yes she does - they both have nannies who are friendly so will have dinner together once every two weeks but do spend a lot of time together in holidays
KaterB1270 :

I think this is a difficult situation for you and is stressful as well. I would suggest that for now you continue to support your daughter and teach her about friendships as you have.

Customer : No changes on the home front - our nanny is pregnant and she is very aware of that.
KaterB1270 :

I know it can be very difficult to understand her reverting back to "baby" talk but I do not think that this has much to do with hanging out with the friend.

KaterB1270 :

Could she be afraid that the Nanny will be moving on once the baby is born?

Customer : I have spoken to her about that and I have discussed, over a period of time, that we will need a new nanny whilst the current one looks after the baby, and that she could help us choose and that we can see the current nanny and her baby at her house. I could check that out a bit more
KaterB1270 :

A lot of times children will "act" a certain way when they are trying to make sure they will not be replaced (example acting baby-ish when a new baby is coming into the picture). This is very typical development for your children. They have a hard time expressing emotions. Instead of expressing emotions like adults children tend to act out their emotions.

KaterB1270 :

I would for sure talk to her more about the nanny change. This is most likely the reason for the change in behavior you see. I am not saying you should ignore the behavior at school but more so know why it is likely happening. I would suggest a nice talk during a quiet time about what the teacher has told you. I would explain how the exclusiveness and finger pointing and such really hurts other childrens feelings. I would also talk to her about how she would feel if another child was acting this way to her.

Customer : Ok I will give it a go!
KaterB1270 :

The good thing is that this too shall pass. As a parent we tend to worry so much about our children that it can seem insurmountable at the time. Keep in mind that this is a phase (I know easier said then done) and that soon she will move onto something else just as worrisome.

KaterB1270 :

I know as a parent myself sometimes I get myself so upset over something and in a few days, weeks, or a month or two the issue has totally passed. Hang in there and if I can be of any other assistance please don't hesitate to ask.

KaterB1270 :

I hope I have answered your question. Is there anything else I can help with today?

Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
I just wanted to follow up with you and see if I was of any assistance to you or if you needed any additional information. Please feel free to ask if anything seems unclear to you. Thanks, Kate