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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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12 yr old son becoming very disobedient, and obstinate last

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12 yr old son becoming very disobedient, and obstinate last two months. Alwaya been a strong willed, stubborn child but very sweet recently observed an 'I don't care, you can 't make me belligerent type of attitude. School and pediatrician advise this is middle school and puberty . When should I get concerned it may be more? ODD? PS He has adjusted well after starting a new school in 5, beginning middle school in 6and then changing to new middle this this year in 7 where his older student was outstanding so may have a little sibling pressure there but kids here Public more wild than at parochial school..still he has good home training Nd knows right from wrong
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. Is your son becoming more defiant toward others in school and out of school like at home equally? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
At school he doesn't allow follow basic rules like talking and blurting out but those have always been issues he had to serve detention for taking his backpack but nothing principal says he's one of the good one it's mainly at home he's aggressive towards his 15 yr old sister! Sassy towards me and : Dad and last two days started tossing papers and I popped him in the mouth a couple of weeks ago and he called 911 and the officer to,d him there was nothing wrong with a parent disciplined him as long as he was not hurt. He cried and apologized.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. It is true that children will test their parents during the teenage years. However continued disobedience is not the norm. You may even have a gut feeling that something just is not right. Since you have already spoken with a pediatrician, seek a second opinion from a child psychologist. You can get a referral from the pediatrician.

Here are some things to look for if your son has had ODD:

Behaviors are persistent and have lasted at least six months...or so
Behaviors are clearly disruptive to the family and home or school environment

The following are behaviors associated with ODD:
Hostility directed toward authority figures

These behaviors might cause your child to regularly and consistently show these signs and symptoms:
Temper tantrums
Argumentativeness with adults
Refusal to comply with adult requests or rules
Deliberate annoyance of other people
Blaming others for mistakes or misbehavior
Acting touchy and easily annoyed
Anger and resentment
Spiteful or vindictive behavior
Aggressiveness toward peers
Difficulty maintaining friendships

If your son is manifesting many of these behaviors, you need to be concerned and seek professional assistance so that his behavior does not become worse. He needs to develop intervention and coping strategies with the help of a professional.

Have a great day!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
An easy route would first be to discuss the issues with the school psychologist which would be cost free. She would observe your son on several occasions and talk to him. Then she would determine if testing and/or counseling would be necessary. She /he would also work with you to assist in his behavioral home.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Didn''t know if you were replying back spoke with my Pediatrician again this am and he still says he's seing a lot of this and keep working with him in less demanding, kinder voice tone not yet enough for alarm Thanks anyway. I spoke with her the day I spoke with the principal and asked if she thought he neded testing!. She was with Principal and they wee ones who told me he is one of the good ones and thatbtherebis some techno digital syndrome. They said they'd share an article. The principl said she works late because she doesn't want to go home to her daughter who yells and screams at her and slams doors!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for responding. It seems like you are getting the run around with the school and the pediatrician. If you want the public school to test your child for emotional problems, then you can send in a written request to do so. The school has a certain time frame in which to evaluate your son. In the meantime, your son has become recently frustrated about something in his life. He is manifesting his frustration with disobedience. He may be being bulled at school. He may feel too much pressure to excel in school. Whatever it is, he needs some outside professional assistance especially if he will not open up to you. Reading an article will not provide you with the answers that you need. Do not take this lightly. You want and need to seek professional assistance. You want your son to improve in his behavior.
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