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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My granddaughter is 1 year old (12/28/11) has been in day care

Customer Question

My granddaughter is 1 year old (12/28/11) has been in day care since 6 weeks of age. Today, the daycare supervisor requested a conference with her parents to discuss her status of remaining in the daycare. Their concern is Jamie screams up to 50 minutes to be held. There are not enough employees to hold her most of the time. This behavior is disturbing to the nursery room. When Jamie is at home, she clings to her mother, if the mother is not in the room with her. She will not go to the father. She follows her mother calling out, "mama, mama". Please help! My daughter and family live in a small town and there is not another daycare within reasonable driving distance.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problem with your granddaughter at daycare. Did this problem just start or has it been occurring for quite some time? How does she behave when she is dropped off and how is she when picked up? How often does she attend daycare during the week? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hello, my name isXXXXX the mother of Jamie-XXX. My mom forwarded this to me so I could provide the additional details you requested - thanks in advance for your assistance.

Jamie-XXX has always been "mama's girl". She has a 4 year old Sister who is "dady's girl". Her older sister (Laila) is like a mother to her - always looking out and loving her. We lead a very "normal" undramatic, ChristXXXXX XXXXXfestyle. My husband and I are both professionals that work full time M - F therefore, Jamie-XXX and Laila are in day care from 0730 - 0530. She does fine at drop off and pick-up, no crying, tantrums, etc. The Day Care is a Montesorri based Christian Academy and I truely believe they care for our children. Jamie-XXX has always been a little clingey however, it seems to be getting worse. She has been spoiled not only by our family and friends but also by the Day Care Instructors. Jamie-XXX walked the 1st week of her 8th month, she by choice does not take a pacifier and also hasn't choosen any other form of security (blanket, toy, etc). Since she began to walk so early it was difficult to keep her in the infant room so they began to transition her to the 1 yr old room. She is also only taking a bottle when she wakes and before bed. She is a determined and passionate little girl and she never sits still. She is also currently teething. We have a large family and we usually visit twice a month and during these visits Jamie-Lee is held A LOT. This last week was also our first week back after a 2 week Christmas break. Jamie-XXX is a healthy child, no medical issues.


I certainly understand how this past weeks behavior could be difficult for the Day Care Instructors to handle considering there are 13 other children in the class. I am hoping this is just a phase but wanted to get an experts opionion prior to our Day Care conference next week. Thank you again, I look forward to hearing from you.



Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello Ms. XXXXX...The manifestations of super-attachment that you daughter is experiencing are completely normal and usually appear around the age of 10-12 months. It is just a phase. This last week that your daughter was at the day care was difficult due to the 2 week break. She needs time to get re-accustomed to the routines of day care. Sometimes it may take as long as 6 weeks to acclimate oneself again. Also, she is probably in a little pain from teething. You are very blessed to have found such a great day care with such loving day care providers. I know that your daughter is not the first child who has wanted to be held at the day care. I am sure that the day care must have alternative procedures for dealing with constant and continuous crying or screaming. The day care should not pick her up all of the time. This must be followed through at home as well. That is the first step. Your daughter must be told, "quiet voice" and "Shhhhhhhhh" when she screams. After a while, she will learn that she will not be picked up all the time. It is concerning that the daycare would need to discuss the screaming episodes with you. She is only a year old. She is not harming other kids. She has been there since six weeks of age. The day care needs to work with you to help your daughter decrease her screaming episodes. If the episodes are becoming worse at day care, what are they doing to help the problem? If you need further assistance, let me know. Remember, your daughter's clinginess is just a stage unless someone is bothering her at day care...which I doubt. Have a blessed day!
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
The first question I would ask at the conference is what the instructors do when your daughter gets upset. As you mentioned she is advanced for her age. This could be part of the problem at hand. In the past in Montessori classrooms that I have been involved in insist on a lot of independence. If she is unable to complete certain tasks because of her size or intellectual ability this could be frustrating her which makes her get upset. I would also look at her sleep patterns. Children at her age need about 14 hours of sleep. If she is receiving less than this amount of sleep she may be tired and become cranky thus causing her to have an outburst. I would also look at feeding times and what she is eating. Is she hungry at certain times causing more stress on her. If the daycare center presents with the opinion that she is no longer welcome at their school I would probably say thank you and move on. To be quite honest if a day care center can't work with a child and her parents then they are not a child focused center and I would move on.
I hope that this is helpful. Please contact me with any additional questions I would appreciate you accepting my response as this helps build my confidence as am expert.
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
I just wanted to follow up with you and see if I was of any assistance to you or if you needed any additional information. Please feel free to ask if anything seems unclear to you. Thanks, Kate
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

So far everything is going well, Jamie-Lee is making progress daily. I am keeping in close touch with the teachers to make sure we are all working together. Jamie-Lee seems happy, her teeth are beginning to come through so I believe some of the pain has subsided and her tantrums are fewer and less abrasive. Ultimately I believe the teachers just overracted a bit that first week as I'm sure it was difficult for them. Thank you for following up and I appreciate your feedback. I will most certainly use this service again if needed.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Just request meCustomerin your question if I can be of further assistance. Happy Thursday!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Glad to hear everything is going well!