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KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience:  BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
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My 9th grade daughter, 14 years old, has extreme emotional

Customer Question

My 9th grade daughter, 14 years old, has extreme emotional outbursts of anger and rage. This has grown progressively worse over the past 1-1/2 years. She has no behavioral issues in school or outside of the home, mainly with her parents and sisters. She is completely disrespectful, doesn't think of consequence of her behavior, when losing temper doesn't care whose around when letting out her rage and curse words. She will slam doors, throw things, damage things in her room from her outbursts. She has extreme lack of focus at times, has become extremely disorganized with her room, personal belongings and being responsible for her things. Dropped her dancing, which she did 4 times a week since she was 4 and now not taking part in any after school activities. Is insecure with having gained alot of weight since onset of puberty about 2 years ago, yet won't exercise (even after asking for a treadmill and getting it), doesn't watch what she eats (though has discussed with a counselor, as well as dietician the right foods.) Eats very fast and disregards XXXXX XXXXX it may be. Has been seeing a counselor most recently discussing her anger, but I feel it is sprialling out of control quickly and may be more chemical. I'm extremely concerned about her well being, school work and lack of happiness and self esteem. She is turning our household upside down causing many family fights between her parents and making little sisters cry from being scared. Her closest friends have noticed a change as well.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

So it feels like this is more than the hormonal changes of adolescence? Can you say more about why you think it may be chemical?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
It's just a guess because the anger seems so extreme. That's why I'm seeking a professional for opinion.....I don't know what it is. Any advice from what I've shared?
Expert:  Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Hello again,
The most frequent cause of extreme anger and aggression in a early teen is depressed mood followed by anxiety. If there is a family history of Bipolar Disorder, this should also be considered (especially if sleeping is a problem and you notice increased sexual content).

Breaking the rules and aggression can be child's way of expressing their uncomfortable emotions as they often do not verbalize or even understand their intense emotions.

That is why the first step should be therapy to get to the root of the behavior. If depression or anxiety is the problem, medication may be necessary. The chemical imbalance may involve the mood chemical, serotonin. You can begin by consulting her primary doctor about the treatment. He/she might refer you to a child psychiatrist for medication.

In the meantime, during an outburst, it is best to step back and let her rage, Afterwards, talk about it... if she wants to.. so that she can "save face". Once she is calmed down, try to reflect that you understand that this is her expression of uncomfortable emotions by saying "I can see you are really upset."

Hope this helps.....good luck,
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.

I would highly suggest you seek professional help both here, at school, and through your pediatrician. From what you have explained some things seem like typical teenage outbursts. The fact that her rage is extreme makes me thing professional counseling is in order. Is the a history of any other acting out in the past? If so be sure to share that with your pediatrician. If you pediatrician doesn't have any suggested counselors call the closest children's hospital for a referral. I would also take a look at the things going on around you daughter. Have any big changes happened lately? Is she in a stressful situation somehow? I would also look at the possibility of her being bullied at school. If you have any other questions or need follow up please don't hesitate to ask.




My goal is to assist you so that you get the most informative reply.
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Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
I just wanted to follow up with you and see if I was of any assistance to you or if you needed any additional information. Please feel free to ask if anything seems unclear to you. Thanks, Kate