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KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience:  BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
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I have to cuddle my two and a half year old until he falls

Customer Question

I have to cuddle my two and a half year old until he falls asleep. If anyone else puts him to bed he goes to bed straight away. He also plays by himself all the time at nursery and is very quiet. They have commented on this at his nursery. Should I be worried?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,
I would not worry about the need to cuddle with you. You are his primary attachment person and it is not unusual behavior. When he is a bit older you can reward his for falling asleep on his own but that may not work for about a year from a developmental standpoint.

It is still normal for a 2 1/2 year old to play in a parallel fashion (along side but not with other children). The children with a quiet and laid-back temperament may do this longer than the more active child. So if that describes him (easy going, laid back), then, I would not worry about this either.

I hope this helps....warm regards,
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for checking with Just Answers. I am happy to give you some advice about your situation. I would also not worry about this attachment. As stated in your question he does go to sleep straight away for others. By knowing this I am sure that this need to cuddle is an attachment thing with you as his mother. Some children start to grow out of this super need for "mom" about the age of 2 or 3. As the children become more independent they will move on to focus on other things besides mom. If this is causing trouble for you then I would suggest letting him cry for several minutes before going in to comfort him. I noticed you had tried the technique where you move away from the bed a little at a time. When you are doing this are you ignoring him as well? If he comes up to you as hard as it might be you must act like a statue. You must not engage the child so they feel safe with just the sight of you. Also I suggest to keeps things in perspective. In a few years (about the age of 6-7) you will be lucky to have your child sit and talk with you let alone cuddle. I think you enjoy it while you can and embrace the moment.


I hope this helps.
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Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 5 years ago.
I just wanted to follow up with you and see if I was of any assistance to you or if you needed any additional information. Please feel free to ask if anything seems unclear to you. Thanks, Kate