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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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my nine year old son is very defiant and ignorant. he is no

Customer Question

my nine year old son is very defiant and ignorant. he is no longer in school but when he was there would be days when if he knew something different was happening he wouldn't get out of bed. this happened once every few months and started when he started school. he doesn't like change. we recently moved and out of about the 6-8 weeks he was in school he had a day off each week. he will tell me to go away or that he doesn't care when i say that if he doesn't do as he is told i will remove toys or not let him play on the wii or something. nothing bothers him. i teach my three from home 13, 12 and 9. so far it's ok with the schooling as he gets up but like today we are religious and because our meeting time has changed again he didn't want to get out of bed. he is only getting dressed now 11:23 am. other times like two days ago he wrote a list of page no. and prices of things he would like from the argos cat, and wanted my husband and i to lokk through it finding each item. as it was bed time we said we'll do it later. he wouldn't go to bed or get changed or brush his teeth. he started to annoy his brother who was in bed by throwing things at him. i went in and asked why and he ignored me. then i asked him to stop doing it and get sorted for bed or i would take the soft toys from his bed. he just laughed at me saying he didn't care and threw his toys at me saying have this one and this one. we all went to bed, locked up. lights off and my son just sat on the stairs refusing to go to bed. then just cried. my husband took him into the front room and asked what was wrong and after about an hour found out it was all because we didn't look at those items he listed. i don't know how to get my son to simply obey. if was working i would have the sack for being late each week, how do i stop him from getting his way of not doing something or going somewhere because he doesn't want to. it ruin things for the rest of us or makes us either late or not attend places. please help.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your son. Is he defiant most of the time and wants to do his own things? Thank you!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

as i put in my question it is only once in a few months

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for responding. Your son may be manifesting signs of Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). The next step that you need to do is to take your son to see his primary physician for further evaluation or for a referral to be evaluated by a psychologist. When you take him, mention your concerns about ODD. Here are some facts about ODD that may represent your son:

His negative behavior is persistent and is clearly disruptive to the family and home or school environment.

The following are behaviors are associated with ODD:
Hostility directed toward authority figures

These behaviors might cause your child to regularly and consistently show these signs and symptoms:
Temper tantrums
Argumentativeness with adults
Refusal to comply with adult requests or rules
Deliberate annoyance of other people
Blaming others for mistakes or misbehavior
Acting touchy and easily annoyed
Anger and resentment
Spiteful or vindictive behavior
Aggressiveness toward peers
Difficulty maintaining friendships

Once your son has been properly been evaluated, then the necessary steps can be taken. He may need behavior modification therapy and learn intervention and coping strategies to deal with his behavioral issues in a more effective and positive manner.

Thank you!