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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hi! I recently found out my 16 yr old daughter smoked pot at

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Hi! I recently found out my 16 yr old daughter smoked pot at a party and had drinks on at least 3 occasions.

After the initial shock settled down, I had asked her about it. She cried and after denying about both in the beginning she admitted to drinking 1st. Later she also admitted that she tried pot once.

She apologized and agreed that it was stupid and promised me she would never do it again.

My husband knows all about this but I told my daughter that her dad doesn't know YET but i will be letting him know at some point.

The question now is my husband wants to track her whereabouts. She has turned 17 yesterday and will be getting her drivers licence by the end of the month. My husband wants to make sure that she will not have an opportunity to 'party' like before with out us knowing about it.

I don't want our daughter to know that we do not trust her( in this instance it would be just me as she thinks her dad has no idea).

Can I get some advice please?
Hello dear client. Thank you for using Just Answer. Do you trust your daughter?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Good question. I do and I don't..
My daughter is a smart and opinionated girl. She says that I see world too black and white. She said to me when I brought this up, Mom, It's not like that. Everybody tries/drinks in high school. That doesn't mean anything.

BotXXXXX XXXXXne is she thinks that it is fine to drink socially as long as you study well and is smart about where and when you have it.

Based on that, I am guessing that she will still try it but will be very cautious. That would be because she wouldn't want to hurt me not because she thinks it is bad.
So, trust word here is tricky...

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Other.
Had to wait too long and did not get an answer
Hi there. I did not forget about you. The weather turned really bad out west and the Internet was down. I am back.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
OK. So, can you advice me then?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Are you there?
Have a family meeting with you, your husband, and your daughter. Make her explain to your husband what she did that was wrong. Then you and your husband need to talk with her about peer pressure and how and what you expect from her despite what everybody else is doing. Let her know that because she violated your trust, she needs to let you know all of her whereabouts and check in, especially when she has the car. If she messes up three times, she should not be allowed to anything for a month. No driving. No going out with friends....etc. She needs to feel as if she is in jail while at home. It may sound extreme but she needs some stiff consequences to earn a lesson. Think about it....she gets three chances. Hopefully, she will turn herself around and be more honest!
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
All that would be in order. My husband wants to put a tracking device in her car. He is also talking about testing hair(I am not kidding) for traces of drugs etc.
That's my dilemma.
I could see using a tracking device for her car. However, testing her hair is a bit extreme. Just ask her questions about her social outings to start to see if she can be truthful.

Have a great evening.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank You. Good evening to you too.