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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 16 year old son is driving himself to school this year(jr).

Customer Question

My 16 year old son is driving himself to school this year(jr). He has been tardy 1st hour 16 times. He doesn't feel it's any big deal. I told him that he'd be riding the bus because when he rode the bus he was on time. He asked me to give him one more chance and he wrote a contract stating that if he was late again, he'd ride the bus for a week.(this was his idea) The very next morning, he was late again. So, today, he was suppose to ride the bus. He told me this morning that he was NOT riding the bus, and he ran out of the house, got in his car and drove off. I called school, and he is there. I want him to know that actions have consequences, and I'm not sure how to deal with this defiance. I am a divorced mom, but his dad is supportive with discipline.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your son. He needs to know that you mean business and will not accept such disrespect. It is great to know that his dad is supportive with discipline. He may need to live with his dad until he gets back on the right track with you. If that is not an option, take the car keys away. He may have already made an extra set though. If that is the case, keep the car at his dad's house until he shows more maturity and responsibility with regards XXXXX XXXXX situation. If he starts skipping school completely, notify the attendance office immediately. Also, you may want to notify his school counselor as well so he/she can be aware of the problem and discuss the issue with your son.

Hope this helps. Have a thrilling Tuesday!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for these suggestions. I'm still not sure what to do about the bus situation. Do I insist that he rides the bus, do I ask him to come up with an alternative plan, should he be "punished" for disobeying me this morning? I've told him that I'm not into punishment for punishment's sake, but I want his inappropriate behavior to change. He's already lost his phone for having unacceptable grades in two subjects(he does have several good grades-A's and B's) and he's lost his TV until the end of the semester so he's not distracted and can complete the homework he isn't completing. He is diagnosed with ADHD and is on meds.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
His ADHD does attribute to his snappy behavior. He should suffer some consequences for his disobedience this morning. Do not give him any type of choice. He has already chosen to be disrespectful. If you do not get ahold of him now, it will only get worse. When he returns home from school today, tell him that he is not allowed to use the car for school or anything else until winter break. If he still disobeys, he cannot use the car at all during winter break. You must be firm and consistent. Teenagers will try to manipulate their parents. Do not allow him to control you. Always maintain authoritative control.
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX 1 31 year educator with a Masters in Ed. When it's your own kids, sometimes you just "can't see the forest for the trees!"
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
You are so welcome.