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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My son who is 9 years old doesnt want to do his work in school

Customer Question

My son who is 9 years old doesn't want to do his work in school and very disrespecful with his teacher. According to his teacher he refused to take notes for his booktest which is tomorrow. He poked his teacher and call her fat and kept laughing and even ask his classmate to do the same to her. I'm really upset of what he is doing. My husband and I let him write 100 sentences of I will not be disrespectful to my teacher and will not call her names." He was doing so well in school since Aug but for some reason this past month he has been unruly in school. Please help. What disicpline we can give him. He can't control his anger for some reason and expressed it in a bad way.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your son. Is he equally disrespectful and home and at school? How long has he been attending this school? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

We moved him to this school in the middle of the school year last year of Dec 1, 2010 when he was in 3rd grade. We were not happy with the school and with the teacher and 2 of his friends also moved out the middle of school year to a different school because of the same reason. He is not disrespectful with us. I asked him why is he doing such a thing in school he said there's a boy in his class that kept on tapping the desk and it bother's him and so he told his teacher, but the teacher just pulled out card a yellow card for behavior ( green is good behavior, yellow is warning, orange third warning and red might lead to detention) and didn't do anything and my son got upset and he can't control himself so he kept poking his teacher and called him fat. When get's angry he becomes mean with his words and bullied his teacher and other classmates. I want to find a professional who can assess his behavior. Also, the teacher said he doesn't sit in class he kept getting up and distracting the class. From Aug to Oct his grades where all good 4 A's and B+ but late Oct until know the grades with down to C-and D- because he is not doin work in school and refuse to participate and his conduct and effort is F now. We don't know what do to with him. He is a very smart boy and sweet to me but I don't know why he is doing this at school. We met with the principal and teacher last week and my husband talk to the teacher everytime he pick him up to monitor his behavior everyday. If he's good we give him 15 minutes Wii game or DS game if not we give him consequences. I am dreading every end of the day because I don't what to hear any bad news from the teacher also, I'm afraid they might kick him out of school and I can't move him again because it really hurt him when I moved him last time but I thought he was doing well after he's done will with 3rd grade and moved up to 4th grade but then I guess he still having problems. He is angry for some reason and don't know how to express it and it's coming out in a very negative way. Please help us what do to with him. Thanks,

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for the detailed background information. Your son is very frustrated with his school situation. There are two routes that you can take. The first route is to discuss the issues with the school psychologist. She or he will observe your son in the classroom on several occasions and get some additional feedback from your son's teachers. Then the psychologist will meet with you to discuss the findings. Then the next route would be to take this school information to your son's pediatrician. He/she may refer your son to a psychologist or a counselor for further evaluations. Although I am not a doctor, your son seems to be manifesting some characteristics of ADHD as well as Oppositional Defiance Disorder. So you may hear those terms mentioned during the evaluation of your son. So take a deep breath and relax. Your son will be alright. Take these steps and let me know what happens.

Have a thrilling Tuesday.