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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hi - We are divorced parents(6yrs now, both remarried, no addl

Customer Question

Hi - We are divorced parents(6yrs now, both remarried, no add'l kids, amicable relationship) we have a 13 yr old daughter together who is loved and supported by parents and step-parents. Our daughter is part of a circle of friends that are very outgoing and confident yet she is somewhat clumsy and anxious socially compared to other girls and in many situations, emotionally fragile. As is everyone seems to be at her age, she is highly-distracted with social activities - mainly texting and chat with her friends but overly sensitive if anything is said that she perceives as negative. What can we do to build her confidence/self esteem to help her through the teenage mindfield that is just beginning? we try to talk to her about it things but she says everything is fine - yet there will be days she calls from school crying b/c someone said something that was mean.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for using Just Answer. Is your daughter at a new school? What grade is she in? Thanks.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No, same school. She is in 7th Grade(2nd year in Middle School)
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Is she an only child? Has she ever had counseling?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She is an only child and has not been to counseling since she was 6(7 yrs ago) at the onset of our separation - we were told after two sessions that she was not showing any signs of concern and that she should be fine with the adjustment over time.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Does your daughter have any weight or height insecurities? Is she into the latest fashion trends?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
she is definitely into the latest fashion trends and seems overly conscious about the way she dresses/looks - she is afforded many wardrobe options. She is one of the taller kids in class at 5'7" but not towering over everyone else. She does not have weight issues/struggles.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello...your daughter is experiencing the typical emotions of a teen age girl which may often seem like a roller coaster ride...especially if she has started her menstrual cycle. She always wants to make sure that she fits in especially with the social scene. Anything that goes wrong is magnified 100 times in her eyes and is way more serious than it truly is.

You have her in sports which is great. Role playing is also very beneficial. Just keep showing her unconditional love through all of her actions. If she seems to be getting very depressed and too hard on herself more frequently, you may want to seek professional counseling so that she can learn intervention and coping strategies in how to maneuver through the teen age years from a neutral third party.

Maybe she can even tutor young children or baby sit relatives to improve her self esteem. Additionally, you may want to get her involved in cheer leading which may really boost her confidence or even some type if dance.

proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Thank you so much!