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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 6 year old son has become so rude, defiant, and even physically

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My 6 year old son has become so rude, defiant, and even physically aggressive towards my husband and I that I honestly can say that I do not even like being around him anymore. He has always been challenging as the middle child of 3, but has now picked up backtalk, rudeness, and then, when exasperated, we raise our voices to his consistent, persistent defiant behavior, he cries, and screams "you don't even like me, you're mean to me!!" We had him seen by a social worker, who deems him entirely healthy, with no red flag issues. I have studied numerous parenting/counseling books and techniques, and the connective parenting "mirroring technique " seems to work, but only for a while. He throws full-on temper tantrums at every sign of not getting what he wants, despite continually following through on the parenting side when front-loading, and clear choice of consequences are not heeded. I am getting to the point where I scare myself with wanting to turn him over and spank him when he behaves like this (a lot!!), but I do not want to turn to that. Can you help??
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Have you spoken to your son's pediatrician about his behavior?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes, he is considered physically healthy, and a Social worker we contacted also intervieved him quite a few times with "theraplay?" techniques, it think it was called, recently, and he was deemed completely healthy with a "highly arousable" personality. I am a ten-year practicing RN, and healthy sleep, exercise and diet practices are always a priority in our home, so we have ruled these possible issues out as contributing factors. My husband and I are stumped, and no longer know what to do anymore. I am allergic to cats, (severely), but because he (my son), loves them so much, and we thought it would be therapeutic for him, to have one in our home, so we rescued one, and this has helped him a bit. When he gets worked up, he times out and pets him (the cat), and this does seem to caim him. Any ideas?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Your son may have Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Usually the symptoms are persistent and have lasted at least six months and are clearly disruptive to the family and home or school environment.
The following are behaviors associated with ODD:
Negativity, Defiance, Disobedience, Hostility directed toward authority figures.
These behaviors might cause your child to regularly and consistently show these signs and symptoms:
Temper tantrums, Argumentativeness with adults, Refusal to comply with adult requests or rules, Deliberate annoyance of other people, Blaming others for mistakes or misbehavior, Acting touchy and easily annoyed, Anger and resentment, Spiteful or vindictive behavior, Aggressiveness toward peers, Difficulty maintaining friendships.

Discuss the behavior of your son with a child psychologist who can steer you in the right direction. Make sue to mention ODD.

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