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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Psychologist; Parent
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My daughter thinks she wants to be a man. I am devastated and

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My daughter thinks she wants to be a man. I am devastated and dont know what to do or say to her. Her boyfriend of 6 years is gay or bysexual, she says. They are in their early 20s and just moved out a few weeks ago to their own apartment. She says she is not interested in woman just wants to be with him. What do I say? Do? Think? My world has collapsed.
This is a very deep situation to be involved in and I am sure it is stressful for you. It seems as though you have already made up your mind about how you feel about it and have answered your own question. I will tell you what you probably don't want to hear, but it is very important for your daughter to have your support. It is possible that this could just be a phase with her. It may not. Although it may be shocking to you, you need to be there for her and not tell her it is not ok with you. She is an adult and she is still and always will be your beautiful baby girl that you gave birth to. She is still the same person that she was last week, last year, 10 years ago. You say you still love her but at the same time say that this decision is not ok with you. You asked what do you do or say or think. What you do is support her. What you say is, you support and accept her decision, you love her and always will. What you think, is your own business that you do not need to share with anyone. What you should be concerned with is that she is happy in her life no matter what. If her boyfriend is gay or bisexual, that shouldn't matter as much as ,does he love her and does he treat her right? Does she love him and are they happy together? If they are, you have done your job as a parent and raised your daughter to seek happiness in life. You should be satisfied in these facts. When she shows up to your house looking like a guy, remember these things and keep perspective on how many people in the world would give anything to have a daughter who loves her mom and communicates with her even the most personal of thoughts. Try to look past your own obstacles.
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