How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Psychologist; Parent
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Dr. Paige is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Gday iam the dad 1000km from the problem. Just had a phone

This answer was rated:

Gday iam the dad 1000km from the problem. Just had a phone call from ex about sons no2+3. have had fight with mates who they shared house with and at 2am she gets ph call to get them out. they are 22 24 yo. wont get job smoke pot drink etc.wants me to collect them, trouble is coober pedy is not place for those with that inclination.make or break place suffers no fools. 24 yo supposed to take medication, wont. 22yo should also I think. Seems to have no aim or drive. They will now bludge off mum till next big scene.must be common problem, surely must be someplace to get help but dont know who or where. Any ideas?They live in riverland sa. Also both very hard minded and dont listen to reason in fact do opposite to any suggestions towards helping them asif exploiting it as a weakness on our behalf. Please help, suggestions?
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that your sons are having. From what I gather, is it correct to state that neither one has a job and they both have substance abuse problems? Their mom wants them out and you do not want them living with you....correct ?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Correct in no jobs and substance abuse problems. Mum loves them, so do I,and she bends over backwards to help them,shelter,fooddrives them around to get work and whatever but they only want party life.24yo is looking for own place,22yo blows with the wind. Id have him here again have asked but would not come.Likes lifestyle too much where he is.Had bad time of it here.
As much as you are trying to help and be good parents, they are both adults and capable of their own decisions. Are there any programs in your country to try to get them professional help? Unfortunately it seems as if you have done as much as you can for them and although it is difficult to watch, the best thing you can do is to let them know you are there for them if they want your help. If they don't want help and enjoy the lifestyle, they are going to do what they want no matter how destructive. If the older one is looking for his own place,that is a good start. Good luck with them. You are a good father to attempt to help to the level that you have.
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience: Psychologist; Parent
Dr. Paige and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you