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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 16 1/2 son has become a real jekll and hyde with both his

Customer Question

My 16 1/2 son has become a real jekll and hyde with both his mother and I. He is a popular kid, plays multiple sports at a high level, excels in math/science, gets by in english, is a perfectionist, and has a very tough time dealing with when things don't go exactly the way he wants them to and has always been his own worst critic giving up rather then trying to do better the "next" time. He has become moody, every conversation is an arguement, and the "I don't care" and "You can't control me" (along wiht all the f-bombs) flow with too much regularity. We have approached him to discuss this - always ends the same way in that he plays the monkey game (see no evil, talk no evil, hear no evil) until in frustration and anger ourselves we leave him away. What are some discipline tips to use as he continues to find his way through this ? We have an older son, are educated, it is a stable house/family, good neighborhood/school, he is just out of control in his emotions and his outbursts towards us in dealing with the very minor of life's inevitable challenges.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the issues that you are experiencing with your son. Your son may be under a great deal of pressure to excel in sports, remain popular, and to do well in school and therefore is frustrated and takes his emotions out on his family. One thing you might want to investigate is any involvement with alcohol and/ or drugs. Keep tabs on his whereabouts. Know who his friends are. Even curtail his social functions when he misbehaves. Furthermore, if you cannot break through to him by talking to him and enforcing consequences that do not seem to have any effect, then you may want to try professional counseling. Your son can attend individual sessions to learn coping strategies in dealing with his emotional roller coaster. Also, family/group therapy sessions may be necessary so that your entire family learns how to better relate to each other. However, many teens do not want to attend any type of counseling because they feel that it is reserved for "crazy people". If your son does not want to travel the counseling route, then you must make him feel as if he were in jail while at home. Do not let him do much of anything. Even take him off of one of his teams for a few games and/ or practices. Take away all the electronic gadgets. He has to earn them back through consistent and obedient behavior. As previously mentioned, do not even allow him to socialize beyond just attending school
and maybe sports. He must truly understand that living under your roof means that rules must be followed. You can always give him the option of finding another place to live if he refuses not to obey the house rules. Most teens may leave the house and stay with a friend for a few days but soon realize that home is where they belong with the financial and emotional support which they need. Another option would have a local law enforcement officer cone talk to your son as well.

Have a great day! Hope this provided you with some insight.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
are you kidding ? your answer is to kick a 16 year out of the house or have the police come and talk to him ? why don't we just throw all his belongings out on the street as well ? sorry, but we'll explore other options on this one.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Parents deal with their children in different ways. I just gave you options.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
I will open the question up to other experts who can assist you further.

Thank you for your time.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
probably a good idea.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
No problem.