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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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my same son 8yrs old lies about everything. RE: this situation

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my same son 8yrs old lies about everything. RE: this situation he told the principle he saw it watching mad tv at my house. (a picture of a penis) on the picture he drew he wrote Iwant to have sex with my girlfriend" he said someone else got into his desk and wrote that. he has told lies about going places that he dad. i.e legoland to the movies. he has told lies about when i ask did you take a bath brush your hair or teeth he will say yes and he did not. i over hear talking to kids after school and up telling them made up stories. please help me handing his lying.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about your son's lying. How long has this problem been going on? Have there been any recent major life changes for your son? Are both parents in the home? Is he an only child? Thank you!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i got a divorce when he was three. he has a brother 5 and a stepsister 7mos. i am remarried, one year. he lives at his grandmother's house. his dad several of his dad's sisters live there and two of his brothers. his dad has a girlfriend. my sons said they are to be married this month. he has had a lot of life changes. starting 5yrs ago with the divorce. where we moved from canton, ohio to san diego, ca. he started school in san diego he started out a little behind so he had an iep (a program to help with basic math, reading, writing skills) every year he has improved. now he is at a 3rd grade level.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. Children usually lie for attention. They know it is wrong but are desperately seeking a way too release the frustration in their lives and turn to lying as a release. What you need to do is to first ask your son why he is lying. He will probably not give you much of an answer. Then ask him how does he think other people feel when he lies to them. You may want to do a bit if role playing in which you lie to him about something. For example, tell him that you are going tom take him and 3 friends to Legoland this weekend and then shopping at Game Stop for 3 video games...or whatever he likes. Get him all excited. Then wait a few minutes and tell him that you were lying. Ask him how it felt to be lied to. Tell him the importance of telling the truth. Tell him that adults who lie to other adults can end up going to jail. Tell him that starting today, there will be no more lies. Keep a chart of each day that he can get through without lying. If he has a perfect day, he gets a sticker or star for the day. If he lies, he gets nothing. Then after having 10 days of no lying, and they do not have to be consecutive, he will receive a special treat or outing. Make a really big deal about his telling the truth. The goal is to make him want to tell the truth. Usually children will work really hard to improve when a reward is involved. After several weeks of improved behavior, change the number of stickers or stars to 15 to 20. If you feel that your son could benefit from counseling, you may want to speak to the school psychologist first since several lying incidents happened at school. There may be other issues at school that you are not aware of and may surface in the counseling sessions. Hope this provided you with some insight. Have a great day.
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