Parenting

Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Parenting

My 17 year old daughter is a great kid does post secondary

Customer Question
(take classes at a local...
My 17 year old daughter is a great kid does post secondary (take classes at a local community college in place of high school classes) is a volley ball player playing in an all star game tonight, plays basket ball, does show choir, is an honor student national honor society, tri m music honor society, member of leadership lake county and was elected alumni rep for her LAB group. We are told what a great kid by her peers parents teachers and she is a great kid!!!! She is driven confident,incredibly stubborn and does have a great head on her shoulders. But here in the past 6 months she has been very disrespectful to our family and our home. She has become self centered arrogant and disobident. On Thursday she went into her thirteen year old sisters room woke her up @5am demanded her ipod and when she said no punched her in the ribs. I proceeded to yell and told her this is not acceptable behavior in our home and if you chose that you need to leave. Which she called a friend and did. They were numerous text back and forth between her father myself and her that day. With it ending you will be home tonight or we will call the police you are a minor. She did come home we tried to talk to her she feels she is in a box, she needs a break from everyone in the house (she is very busy and rarely home) we all stress her out.. We have taken her car away for a week which I might add is killing her! Still she has been defiant and obstinate every morning and evening is a battle. Last night she wanted to be with friends which we said ok you will be home by 9p, she wasnt happy. Then it was changed to 10p because as I told her you are right she wouldnt get home from bball till 6:30 and the earliest she could be ready would be 7p so 10p was agreeable. Well the plans she had fell thru so she wanted to go to an a friends aunts house and hang out(we do not know this aunt) we said no so there was heck to pay this morning. I tried to speak to her she refused to look at me keeping her back to me tried to hug her and I explained i know it is hard to b 17 I know your job is to break away find your own way and self but you must be respectful about it. She refused that only saying you kicked me out, you were going to call the police on me go ahead I will tell them I do not feel safe here, I will b 18 soon. Even if you are 32 you will respect my home family and your Father and Myself. I just want to know is there some other way to get thru to her. She is not as driven in school, and has the typical I know everything attitude. She is strong willed always has been since she could speak! Everything is just becoming increasingly drama filled I just want to know what can my husband and I do to bring it down and bring peace to our relationship with our daughter. If we would let her do whatever she wants and not hold her accountable for her actions we would all be fine but that is not in her best intrest.They certainly dont come with a manual!!! I know a parts of this is normal teen age behavior and there are worse things she could be doing as she points out. We are at a loss as to what to do. In all honesty we have not been that great at holding to consequences which we have admitted to her, we have never been at this level of anger from her. Any advice would be gratly appreciated.
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Parenting
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Answered in 20 minutes by:
11/1/2011
Parenting Counselor: proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach replied 6 years ago
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
Verified
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are having with your daughter. Her behavior is completely normal as she is having conflicting feelings of soon entering adulthood and leaving the teen age years behind. Furthermore, your daughter may just be extremely stressed and have too many responsibilities and the pressure is too much to keep doing well. Therefore she is lashing out at those who are the closest to her. You must be applauded for enforcing consequences when she is so disobedient. Continue to do those things. You cannot make your daughter change. She has to have the desire to change. All you can do is to continue to talk to her, enforce the rules, and consequences. Do not let her manipulate you in any way. She is still the child and you are the adult. You may also want to try family counseling sessions. Try having an open and honest discussion with her about how everyone feels and try to reach some mutual decisions.
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
We have said we should all go to counseling. To which she becomes very angry , refuses to go will leave if we make her and we are the crazy ones not her. She will not talk ect. We have tried open honest discussions she wont look at us eye rolls and says she is almost 18 we should give it up
Parenting Counselor: proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach replied 6 years ago
Here is a suggestion for you. It is obvious that something is not right in your daughter's life and she is becoming more upset. She has already stated that she would not go to counseling. Therefore, what you need to do is to contact the psychologist at her school. Tell the psychologist your concerns. The psychologist will meet with your daughter and you if needed to discuss the issues. Your daughter may become upset that you have the psychologist involved but she needs to hear things from a different perspective. She may open up to the psychologist. It is definitely worth a try.
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Ask proexpert37 Your Own Question
proexpert37
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
1,374 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor

proexpert37 is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Cher

Cher

Teacher

94 satisfied customers

Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2

Jennifer

Jennifer

School Psychologist

77 satisfied customers

Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.

professional_Alison

professional_Alison

Child Care

77 satisfied customers

Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

40 satisfied customers

Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Doctor

38 satisfied customers

PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy

Eveningstargazer

Eveningstargazer

Family Counselor

31 satisfied customers

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Family Counselor

21 satisfied customers

Licensed social worker and psychotherapist

< Previous | Next >

Related Parenting Questions
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher is preparing our child for a dance competition. She keeps telling the child not to be nervous , not to be afraid. It seems to produce an opp… read more
Gaurav Gupta
Gaurav Gupta
MD, CEO
Post-Doctoral Degree
22 satisfied customers
I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year
Hi Pearl I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year old boy. I would like to get some advice on how to calmly handle my two year old. He is quite a handful, and it gets especially frust… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her grandparents). My current wife (her stepmom) and I are visiting my parents for the holidays with our two daughters. My daughter who lives w… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my boyfriend and I, we live together, and one of her biggest issues is that she doesn't stop lying, her lies go from “I didn't do it-to lying to… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with us. I've been with her mom for 10 years now and this child now adult has always been very selfish. She puts herself first for everything and … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as dysgraphia) which was diagnosed in grade one, but through the psych assessment we also learned he has extremely high cognitive ability. For … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to
i have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to teach him discipline because i don't wanna spank or hit. So ive been introducing tasks around the house. And geting him to say yes sir and no s… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has
Hi, I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has started spreading untruths this is a brief only Thank you janys… read more
CamilleRN
CamilleRN
Registered Nurse, Director of Nursing
4,150 satisfied customers
Dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think
dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think but when ever we will ask him to study he dont like. he make the face and you fell that he is sick. he sit long time for one subject to do hi… read more
danny541
danny541
Retired
608 satisfied customers
I raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me,
i raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me, to build a strong bond. i was a young single mom and did the best i knew how. i then ended up introducing someone into both of our lives th… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in school. I have put him on punishment, and he knows I am in constant contact with his teacher. It is not that he can't do his work, it is that he… read more
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Consultant Pediatrician
Doctoral Degree
2,246 satisfied customers
Whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in
whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in the orange county and LA area.… read more
Michael
Michael
Research Librarian
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
86 satisfied customers
This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a
(This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a parenting expert. I have a 5 year old pre-adoptive child in my home. I am her 5th placement in 3 years. This week, she received a diagnosis of… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Associate Professor of Communication
Doctoral Degree
102 satisfied customers
My three year old turning four in September still isn't
my three year old turning four in September still isn't potty trained. When he was two and a half his grandmother saw that he accidentally pooped his pants had lost her mind held him on the toilet and… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step son argues with me about everything I say. I'm tired
I'm tired of it and want to say something in a loving way … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed away, she disinherited her daughter, B.D. *******, because B.D. ****** wrote a book about her saying that she was a drunk and all of that. In … read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,718 satisfied customers
Far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled" Eyre"
far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte. In chapter one, ***** *****, the son of the Reed family, scolds Jane Eyre for reading one of the Reed family's boo… read more
Cher
Cher
Teacher
Masters Degree
94 satisfied customers
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl who will be 6 y/o on March, 2018 and my son who will be 3 years old this month (nov, 2017).Their personalities are very different and I'm very… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x