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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My husband and I are in our 40s with no extended family &

Customer Question

My husband and I are in our 40's with no extended family & no friends with kids the age of our daughter. She'll be three in January & is terrified of other kids. I am a stay at home mom & the only time she has ever been away from me is when she's with my husband. She takes Kindermusik classes but there really isn't that much interaction with kids. It's mostly with me. I'm in a mommy & me group but she shows no interest in playing with the other kids. She's not on the spectrum (had her checked) her pediatrician says she's just shy. I'm thinking about soccer or even babysitting a child to increase her socialization skills. Any ideas on what would help. I'm desperate!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Are there any activities that you think your daughter would really enjoy? Have you thought about part time preschool?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
well, she's 2 so everything is fun & she likes everything. She loves music hence the music classes. I need help with socialization ideas. i.e., I need to get her used to other kids & I need something where she'll actually be interacting with other children. It doesn't matter what the activity is as long as she's interacting with kids - i.e., playing , talking, touching like holding hands. That sort of thing. Right now in her music classes there are about 8 other kids but other than holding hands & going around in a circle with the parents every now & then the little ones really don't interact. They sing, dance & role play but not interact. I am in a mommy & me group but for instance if we're at the park she'll just go off by herself (with me in tow of course) When she's around other kids you can see she "yearns" to play with them and it breaks my heart because she just doesn't know how to "play with other kids"a. If we're out somewhere & a kid approaches her she backs up. One of the little girls in her music class had tried to "play" with my daughter after class but she's a little aggressive & it scares Lexi. Part time preschool is definitely something we'll try NEXT year. She is not ready this year at all. She'd run to a corner & they'd have to call an ambulance she'd be so distraught. I was thinking soccer would be good because she gets excited when we march in a circle in music class or if there kids running in a store she gets excited & wants to run too. Another thing I'm thinking about would be maybe offering to babysit a child her age once a week. We went through 12 long yrs of infertility treatments, I had 8 miscarriages, I reported my father for sexually abusing foster children so I tend to be a little cautious with her. Don't get me wrong, I'm pushing her to play with other kids but I'd never leave her somewhere without me right now. Lastly, she is not autistic - I've voiced my concerns with her pediatrician and have been reassured that she is not even on the spectrum. Still. I'm very outgoing. With no real extended family to speak of and "older" parents and possibly no siblings (we have 4 frozen embryos that we will have to use a surrogate for because I had to have an emergency hysterectomy during my csection) I want her to grow up to be a strong independent young lady and though she's only two I still worry. So. babysit? soccer? other idea? help!!!!!!!!!!!!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. Your daughter is still very young and may just be extremely shy. Since you have already had her evaluated by her pediatrician, we can rule out any medical concerns for now. You can try soccer and babysitting another child to start. Also, see if there are any tiny tot tumbling classes in your area. Another route might be to have your daughter see a child psychologist who will utilize a technique called Play Therapy so that your daughter will learn intervention and coping strategies in a play type manner and know what to do when around other children. Also, maybe you can try half day pre school at least two days a week now. The older she becomes, the harder it will be to separate from you. I have seen way too many students start kindergarten in tears for weeks because they have never been away from their parents. Additionally, see if there are any tap, ballet, and even dance classes available for your daughter. One more idea is to take her to the park and carefully watch how she acts with other children. Help her to be more social . Furthermore, it sounds like you are very protective of your daughter which is fine but make sure that your over protectiveness is not preventing your daughter from being more comfortable around other people.