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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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Hi, My son is 4 and half years. He is in KG2. Teachers and

Customer Question

Hi, My son is 4 and half years. He is in KG2. Teachers and myself are concern about his behaviour. he cannot focus and easily destructed in the class and anyware else. if you ask him to keep quiet or listen he promise and to do it gain but after 2minutes he star doing the same thing. when he take him out some times he runs fast and he is not aware of his surroundings like traffic etc. i am really in stressed even now i myself stop arguing with my wife on any issue so that home environment also to be calm. Plus he gave hard time on eating also, he really give us hard time. education wise as per teacher response he is very good and sharp but try to finish the tast quickly so he can move to the other tast.
please help me ....what to do to change his behaviour?????
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. The behaviors of your son are developmentally within the normal range for his age and his activity is a result of being an inquisitive boy. First of all relax and take a deep breath. You are not a bad patent and your son is not a bad child. What you need to do at home and what the teachers need to do at school is to start focusing a bit more on the positive and obedient behavior. It is part of a behavior modification system. Focus on trying to change one behavior each week. Tell your son what you expect from him. Get right down to his eye level and tell him. Then you create a chart that can be broken down by morning, afternoon, and evening for each day if the week. You can also break it down by each hour if you really want to target the behavior. For example, you want your son to stop running all over and walk from place to place, explain to him what you expect. Tell him the dangers of running. Explain the behavior chart. When your son behaves well let's say in the morning on Monday because he was able to consistently walk from one place to another. Then he would get a sticker. Then in the afternoon, he ran a little. He would not get a sticker. Remind him of the rules. Then in the evening, he was able to walk from place to place so he gets another sticker. Make a REALLY big deal out of it when he is displaying the correct targeted behavior. After receiving 10 stickers, he receives a special treat or outing. Once he has made improvements in one behavior, target another. The key is patience and persistence at home and at school. Your son will not change overnight but he will change. You need to stop giving so much attention to his negative behavior and start praising him more..even for the little things that he does correctly. Also, children love receiving stickers especially of characters that they really like.

Hope this provided you with a little direction and insight. Have a great day!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
what about he is not very fond of eating?what type of food should be given.does he require any medical treatment or a doctor?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Expert:  Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

I certainly agree with the above recommendations regarding a behavior management plan which is appropriate for voluntary behaviors. It is possible though that his behaviors are involuntary (the increase activity) if he suffers from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). ADHD is usually not diagnosed until an older age BUT in severe cases it is diagnosed earlier. Here are the diagnosis criteria:

You should contact the primary doctor about ways to get it diagnosed in your country. In the states is is the primary doctor, child psychologist or psychiatrist that diagnoses. Medication is the treatment. The behavior management is more about creating an environment where the child can function better (i.e., sit close to teacher for frequent reminders).

The eating is a separate issue. It is also a behavior in which a parent cannot "force" change. So the recommendation is to always place good nutrition in front of him for each meal and let him determine the quantity he will eat. Put small portions on the plate. Snack of fruit between meals if he wants. If he still choses to not eat even though he is very hungry, give him a multivitamin so that you know his vit and mineral needs are met. If he is losing weight it becomes more of a medical problem and the doctor may want him to have a suppliment (Pediasure).

One complicating fact that is relevant to both problems is that the ADHD meds suppress appetite.

Most parents are resistant to the idea of medication. It is when the behavior is interfering with his functioning (in school for instance) that you might want to consider a trial period (a few weeks) to see what happens.

I hope this is helpful....